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Dec 2, 2020 - 12:35:56 PM

mander

USA

4487 posts since 10/7/2007

I walked into the back room and found one of my male co-workers flirting with one of my female co-workers. This was not overly surprising. What was surprising was that he was not wearing a mask! I've worked with the guy for seven months and this was the first time I had seen his face! She wasn't wearing a mask either. (Have masks changed the meaning of "I'll show you mine if you show me yours"?)

At twenty something, to me, he's a kid, and I reflexively did what I would have done with one of my kids when they first grew a beard. I said, "ooooo!" and reached out a hand to touch his scruff. He leaped back and said, "I'm fine with you touching my facial hair, but you have to sanitize your hands first." The girl laughed uproariously. Yes, I sanitized my hands and I touched his beard. It was very satisfying. (So many beards, so little time.)

Who was nervier? Me for thinking it was okay to touch his scruff (especially when he was trying to get somewhere with a young lady,) or him making my sanitize my hands first?

What nervy thing have you done lately?

Edited by - mander on 12/02/2020 12:36:38

Dec 2, 2020 - 2:40:28 PM

Texasbanjo (Moderator)

USA

25364 posts since 8/3/2003

Sounds like you were both nervy to me.

I would never, ever think of touching a man's beard or face, especially a fellow worker. That's getting a little too personal as far as I'm concerned.

The idea he wanted you to sanitize your hands when he wasn't bothering to wear a mask is rather ridiculous, don't you think? I mean, he's the one who took off his mask inside a building and close to another person.

However, sounds like you 2 worked it out just fine and it's really no one's business but yours and his.

Dec 3, 2020 - 5:37:37 AM

Paul R

Canada

13671 posts since 1/28/2010

Another person might have brought a harassment complaint. I think you were lucky to get away with it.

Dec 5, 2020 - 5:11:59 AM

mander

USA

4487 posts since 10/7/2007

quote:
Originally posted by Paul R

Another person might have brought a harassment complaint. I think you were lucky to get away with it.


Well, he started it. The first week we worked together he came over and straightened my clothes for me without any warning.

It startled me so much, I actually started ironing my shirt and checking in the mirror before leaving the house.

Dec 5, 2020 - 6:06:36 AM
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56505 posts since 12/14/2005

Back in the Maskless Times,  at an Art & Crapft fair, when I was in full banjo picker regalia, some gal reached out, without asking, and touched my mustache, to see it it was real.

I held my hands up, palms toward her, fingers slightly curled, at b(.)(.)b height, and asked "Now, in the spirit of FAIRNESS, can I touch YOU to see if they're real?"

She didn't say "NO!", but she didn't say "Yes!" either!    So much for fairness.

Dec 5, 2020 - 6:15:13 AM
Players Union Member

DC5

USA

16054 posts since 6/30/2015
Online Now

IMO, you were wrong to touch the beard without asking. He was wrong straightening your clothes without telling, or asking you. He and the girl were wrong to not be wearing their masks at work - but at 20 something I would have done the same thing. He was not wrong, or nervy to ask you to sanitize your hands before touching his face.

Dec 5, 2020 - 7:43:45 AM

Owen

Canada

7491 posts since 6/5/2011

No real connection to the OP, but when we taught on the fly-in reserves, it wasn't uncommon for the K and JK kiddos to reach over and touch my relatively hairy forearm.   I say relatively, because it was something they weren't accustomed to;  FN people having relatively hairless arms.  I figured it was no use trying to teach them whatever it was that the curriculum called for if/when their minds were occupied with my relatively hairy arms.

Dec 5, 2020 - 7:45:28 AM
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Banjo Lefty

Canada

2098 posts since 6/19/2014

I have a beard. Thanks for the warning, if I ever get to Oregon.

Dec 5, 2020 - 8:40:36 AM
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bubbalouie

Canada

14634 posts since 9/27/2007
Online Now

I'm constantly amazed by women that feel free to comment on my beard. "Do you wash that?" "Doesn't it go in your mouth?"  I assure you I shower daily. Sometimes twice if it's a particularly dirty day. I shampoo my whole head.

I was in a bar playing darts with a friend when 2 ladies asked if they could join us. We said sure & the first thing one of them said was "You'd be better looking if you cut your hair & trimmed your beard" 

It struck me wrong so I said I said " You'd be better looking if you stopped dyeing your hair & ease up on the makeup a bit" WELL! she ran to the bartender/bouncer & complained. My buddy was laughing so hard that the bartender asked him what happened. He told him & he laughed & told her "Sorry you're on your own!" & they left.

I was camping at a B-grass & talking to my elderly neighbours. The lady mentioned my beard every other sentence all the while her top plate was dropping every time she spoke! I wanted to mention a thing called Polygrip!

But. Respect for the elderly you know. 

Dec 5, 2020 - 10:26:19 AM
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Players Union Member

Brian T

Canada

17592 posts since 6/5/2008

Bob, you need a little clip on sign for your beard.

"This valuable advertising space for rent."

Dec 5, 2020 - 11:51:57 AM

m06

England

9554 posts since 10/5/2006

I don't know what 'nervy' is but the part I find oddest is that your two colleagues were flirting and you took it upon yourself to butt in.

The beard is irrelevant. Sounds to me like there are unspoken power games at play in your workplace. 

Edited by - m06 on 12/05/2020 11:55:50

Dec 5, 2020 - 12:56:21 PM
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heavy5

USA

1456 posts since 11/3/2016

quote:
Originally posted by mander

I walked into the back room and found one of my male co-workers flirting with one of my female co-workers. This was not overly surprising. What was surprising was that he was not wearing a mask! I've worked with the guy for seven months and this was the first time I had seen his face! She wasn't wearing a mask either. (Have masks changed the meaning of "I'll show you mine if you show me yours"?)

At twenty something, to me, he's a kid, and I reflexively did what I would have done with one of my kids when they first grew a beard. I said, "ooooo!" and reached out a hand to touch his scruff. He leaped back and said, "I'm fine with you touching my facial hair, but you have to sanitize your hands first." The girl laughed uproariously. Yes, I sanitized my hands and I touched his beard. It was very satisfying. (So many beards, so little time.)

Who was nervier? Me for thinking it was okay to touch his scruff (especially when he was trying to get somewhere with a young lady,) or him making my sanitize my hands first?

What nervy thing have you done lately?


They were probably just swapping chewing gum .

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