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Jul 12, 2019 - 11:03:01 AM

mander

USA

3493 posts since 10/7/2007

We have been friends with a family for thirty some years. My husband remembers the couples son as the cute kid who did back flips. I know him as an adult. My husband wants me to recommend this young man to a couple for some construction work. I won't do it. Why? Because that cute kid grew up to be a hateful man with a violent temper. Even his mother is afraid of his temper. His workmanship is excellent. His professional reputation is of the highest standard. He is extremely successful and his net worth is in the seven digit range. He lives really close to the folks looking for a construction crew.

I'm not just afraid of him, I'm afraid of the people he knows and spends time with.

Would you hire someone whose craftsmanship was the highest around if you knew he had a violent temper?

Jul 12, 2019 - 11:14:52 AM

224 posts since 2/6/2018

Nope. Risks are too high and you don't want to expose your friends to any form of danger. Besides, he's not the only game in town. Do some research and ask around for referrals. No construction project is worth that headache.

Jul 12, 2019 - 11:32:11 AM
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69417 posts since 5/9/2007

Why doesn't your husband recommend him?

Jul 12, 2019 - 11:53:13 AM
Players Union Member

rinemb

USA

11308 posts since 5/24/2005

"I'm not just afraid of him, I'm afraid of the people he knows and spends time with"

If I thought this...I would likely not recommend him to be in someone else's home. Brad

Jul 12, 2019 - 1:54:25 PM
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Owen

Canada

3579 posts since 6/5/2011

Does there have to be a "recommendation"?  Why can't the facts (?) be laid out and the couple then make up their own mind(s)?

Edited by - Owen on 07/12/2019 13:55:54

Jul 12, 2019 - 3:01:51 PM

mander

USA

3493 posts since 10/7/2007

quote:
Originally posted by steve davis

Why doesn't your husband recommend him?


Hubby isn't one to take responsibility for making recommendations. He doesn't want it to come back and bite him. 

Jul 12, 2019 - 3:03:12 PM

mander

USA

3493 posts since 10/7/2007

quote:
Originally posted by Owen

Does there have to be a "recommendation"?  Why can't the facts (?) be laid out and the couple then make up their own mind(s)?


It complicated. It goes into a level of privacy issues I can't explain here.

Jul 12, 2019 - 4:08:25 PM
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Texasbanjo (Moderator)

USA

22890 posts since 8/3/2003

I'd let the young man find his own job. If his craftsmanship is that good, he shouldn't have a problem and shouldn't need a recommendation.

No, I definitely wouldn't recommend someone I knew had a bad temper to any employer.

Jul 12, 2019 - 6:29:49 PM
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2389 posts since 7/28/2015

Are your fears based on more than one experience?

Jul 13, 2019 - 6:11:37 AM

mander

USA

3493 posts since 10/7/2007

quote:
Originally posted by prooftheory

Are your fears based on more than one experience?


Yes. Multiple.

I am not a shrinking violet. Usually, I'm the last person to perceive a dangerous situation. Once, he was so threatening, I got up and left and had nothing to do with the family for nearly a year.

Jul 13, 2019 - 6:16:13 AM

bubbalouie

Canada

12411 posts since 9/27/2007

Loose cannon. Nope!

Jul 13, 2019 - 12:35:27 PM
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Owen

Canada

3579 posts since 6/5/2011

Bubba, to get some variety,  I like a split of about "+95% sane, -5% deranged."   Is there a %age "deranged" a person would have to be to qualify as a "loose cannon"?    devil

P.S.  ....another slow day in Russell... so hot outside, sitting inside watching Jays vs. Yankees play feels hot.

Jul 13, 2019 - 12:46:07 PM

bubbalouie

Canada

12411 posts since 9/27/2007

You never know if a loose cannon is going to shoot where you want it. You never know where or when people with a bad temper are going to go off. Not in control of themselves.

https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/loose-cannon 

It's warm here too Owen. I'm going to but the game on & go outside!

Edited by - bubbalouie on 07/13/2019 12:47:30

Jul 14, 2019 - 8:04:37 AM

69417 posts since 5/9/2007

People have to live with the reputation they've earned.

Jul 14, 2019 - 8:35:31 AM

2389 posts since 7/28/2015

I think I might still deal with a scary jerk if I knew that he would do the best work. There is something to be said for the "House" effect, where a person is so difficult in their personality that you know that the only way they can keep a job is if they are really really good at it.

edit: language, apologies.

Edited by - prooftheory on 07/14/2019 08:36:29

Jul 14, 2019 - 8:46:02 AM
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69417 posts since 5/9/2007

To say someone has a professional reputation of the highest standard except for a bad temper is contradictory.

Edited by - steve davis on 07/14/2019 08:48:08

Jul 14, 2019 - 4:07:25 PM

8696 posts since 1/15/2005
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quote:
Originally posted by prooftheory

I think I might still deal with a scary jerk if I knew that he would do the best work. There is something to be said for the "House" effect, where a person is so difficult in their personality that you know that the only way they can keep a job is if they are really really good at it.

edit: language, apologies.


Frank .... there is an extremely fine mandolin maker in Canada that fits the description of being and outstanding craftsman but a terror to deal with.  I don't think anyone goes back to him after their first experience.

Jul 14, 2019 - 5:29:37 PM
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51700 posts since 12/14/2005

Your hubby doesn't want to make the recommendation, because he's fairly certain that this craftsman is far enough along the Road to Total Madness that it may
"... come back and bite him. " (Your exact words)

But Hubby doesn't care if it bites YOU.
Seems odd.

So, if YOU don't care if it bites YOU, make the recommendation.

Otherwise, tell the people to contact other customers for whom Dr. Jekyll has done work, and ask if THEY would recommend him.

Jul 15, 2019 - 5:43:08 AM
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tmercks

USA

666 posts since 3/7/2006

The easy answer. You should encourage those hiring to ask for references, from prior clients who have hired him and whose work is finished. You should not try to give any kind of personal reference. If someone wants or needs him to do work, tell them to ask for his client list and their recommendation. If he has never performed any work for you then you do not need to be recommending. Look at it from a professional point of view. Those hiring need to know more on the professional conduct and results than anything you could render to the conversation. i.e. Don't offer personal advice for professional work. Especially if you were not a client (or couldn't recommend as such).

Edited by - tmercks on 07/15/2019 05:44:08

Jul 15, 2019 - 6:17:27 AM

69417 posts since 5/9/2007

Ask your husband if he would hire the fellow.

Jul 15, 2019 - 6:59:05 AM

2304 posts since 10/9/2011

quote:
Originally posted by mander
quote:
Originally posted by steve davis

Why doesn't your husband recommend him?


Hubby isn't one to take responsibility for making recommendations. He doesn't want it to come back and bite him. 


In a case like this I'd agree with hubby. That recommendation might very well come back to bite you. It's one thing to offer,say, a restaurant or movie review. It's another thing to recommend a person whose personality could be a dangerous problem. Either pass on it, or lay out ALL the facts as you know them.

Jul 15, 2019 - 1:24:29 PM

51700 posts since 12/14/2005

All I know about this guy, SO FAR, is that he has a violent temper AND may own a hammer and a box of nails.

I would not recommend him.

 

HdevilLL, even if all he has is a plain old-fashioned HAMMER, I wouldn't recommend him!

Even if he were a well-respected DOCTOR, I would not recommend him.

Edited by - mike gregory on 07/15/2019 13:25:35

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