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Jan 12, 2019 - 3:18:15 PM

mander

USA

2633 posts since 10/7/2007

Not as a child, not as a teen, but certainly since adulthood, I've oft been accused "you love to be miserable," or "you hate being happy." These comments are 100 percent wrong. I do wonder sometimes if I've not been trained to fear happiness. It feels as if every time I had the least little thing to celebrate someone came along to steal the source of my happiness, smash it to piece or some how render it useless. I've gotten to where I guard my happiness. I do not allow other people to know that I'm happy. Currently, I have a lot to be happy about, but I'm not telling those around me because, I honestly don't trust them to allow me to continue on my happy path.

I can't be the only person who has gone through this. I've tried the "who cares, just be happy" approach, but that only seems to intensify the punishment.

Theories? Experiences?

Edited by - mander on 01/12/2019 15:18:55

Jan 12, 2019 - 3:21:45 PM
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Owen

Canada

2873 posts since 6/5/2011

read Mad magazine...Alfred E. Neuman

Jan 12, 2019 - 5:16:46 PM

67560 posts since 5/9/2007

I take whatever I'm dealt.
If I'm not feeling good I know it won't last forever.

Jan 12, 2019 - 5:20:49 PM
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Mooooo

USA

5445 posts since 8/20/2016

I fear a shortage on Pizza

Jan 12, 2019 - 5:26:42 PM
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figmo59

USA

28420 posts since 3/5/2008

Not in the least little bit....
I says...
BRING it ON.....! :0)

Jan 12, 2019 - 5:28:43 PM
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figmo59

USA

28420 posts since 3/5/2008

It's the lack of happyness.........

That scairs me........ :0/

Jan 12, 2019 - 5:33:53 PM
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67560 posts since 5/9/2007

I laugh about things I see,hear or imagine just about every day. I look for funny stuff.
Funny makes me happy.

Jan 12, 2019 - 6:14:47 PM
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50211 posts since 12/14/2005

I do not fear being happy.

Matter of fact, one fine day, while whistling a jolly tune at a rummage sale, somebody asked "What are YOU so happy about?"
To which I replied
"I've got a vehicle that runs, some people who love me, and a 5-string banjo. How much better is life SUPPOSED to get?"

Even the e-mails from people telling me they've got MILLIONS waiting for me don't affect my happiness.

Doesn't make me happier, to think I will be GETTING any money, nor does it feel like an insult, that they dare hope I am stupid enough to fall for the scam.

Jan 12, 2019 - 7:53:59 PM
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bubbalouie

Canada

11722 posts since 9/27/2007

I'm not sure if money can buy happiness but if somebody were to donate a few million bucks I'd be willing to test out that theory & get back to them with the results.  

Jan 13, 2019 - 1:26:36 AM

nakigreengrass

New Zealand

4137 posts since 5/16/2012

i think the problem is not yours, but the unhappy people you are surrounded by. There is nothing quite as annoying as being around a happy person when you are having a s*** day........Abby.

Jan 13, 2019 - 3:45:43 AM

figmo59

USA

28420 posts since 3/5/2008

quote:
Originally posted by steve davis

I laugh about things I see,hear or imagine just about every day. I look for funny stuff.
Funny makes me happy.


Yup.....

Jan 13, 2019 - 3:51:35 AM

4524 posts since 9/5/2006
Online Now

my wife does..... she finds the down side in a heartbeat,,, its a struggle pulling her back ,,, then she gets over it. self esteem i think

Jan 13, 2019 - 5:01:13 AM

Texasbanjo (Moderator)

USA

22146 posts since 8/3/2003

Why would you fear happiness? What are you afraid of? If someone gets you down, stay away from that person if you can and find people who lift you up, not put you down.

Jan 13, 2019 - 6:02:36 AM

Paul R

Canada

10951 posts since 1/28/2010

You'll come across the occasional person who lives in Misery.

Lately I notice I've tended to make lemonade out of lemons. If a plan goes awry, I look at the positive consequences. Got a snowfall overnight? Well, I need the exercise anyway. Is that happiness or contentment?

I don't tend to think of happiness as a goal, rather as a result (not necessarily the only result) of doing good things. If "happiness" (however you define it) is the goal, maybe you're not going about things in quite the right way.

Jan 13, 2019 - 7:12:02 AM

67560 posts since 5/9/2007

My great friends are such a huge help when things aren't going good.

Jan 13, 2019 - 7:21:13 AM

Owen

Canada

2873 posts since 6/5/2011

quote:
Originally posted by mander

  Currently, I have a lot to be happy about, but I'm not telling those around me because, I honestly don't trust them to allow me to continue on my happy path.     


To me, it seems odd that you'd surround yourself with people you cant trust... but that's none of my business.

In any event it looks like you already have the KISS solution:  if "telling people" gets in the way of your happiness, then don't tell them.

Edited by - Owen on 01/13/2019 07:23:57

Jan 13, 2019 - 7:29:52 AM

mander

USA

2633 posts since 10/7/2007


To me, it seems odd that you'd surround yourself with people you cant trust... but that's none of my business.

 


You can pick your nose, but your can't pick your relatives. :-)

Jan 13, 2019 - 7:35:42 AM
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67560 posts since 5/9/2007

You can avoid them when you visit your friends.

Jan 13, 2019 - 8:27:49 AM
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Owen

Canada

2873 posts since 6/5/2011

quote:
Originally posted by mander

  ....but your can't pick your relatives. :-)


Then ...  enlightened.... don't tell your relatives.   

Edited by - Owen on 01/13/2019 08:33:15

Jan 13, 2019 - 8:48:57 AM
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50211 posts since 12/14/2005

quote:
Originally posted by mander

To me, it seems odd that you'd surround yourself with people you cant trust... but that's none of my business.

 


You can pick your nose, but your can't pick your relatives. :-)


Jan 13, 2019 - 9:01:39 AM
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SansPix

USA

205 posts since 5/25/2004

I fear boredom.

Jan 13, 2019 - 9:35:20 AM

67560 posts since 5/9/2007

I'm on my way out the door to watch the Pats,eat and smoke and pick a few (tunes,Mike) at a friend's house.
Should be a good crowd.

Jan 13, 2019 - 9:39:52 AM
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1016 posts since 7/14/2004

I fear NO happiness!

I will take on any happiness, any time, any place with one hand tied behind me.

Jan 13, 2019 - 12:51:10 PM

mander

USA

2633 posts since 10/7/2007

quote:
Originally posted by Sheenjack

I fear NO happiness!

I will take on any happiness, any time, any place with one hand tied behind me.

 


The sass in me wants to respond to that, but I hear there are minors on this site.

Jan 13, 2019 - 3:03:03 PM

349 posts since 9/13/2018

quote:
Originally posted by SansPix

I fear boredom.


Jim , don’t be afraid of boredom. If you are, you’ll be afraid of your own thoughts. Most of our creative moments happen when we’re bored 

 

bruce

Jan 13, 2019 - 3:19:54 PM

67560 posts since 5/9/2007

When I'm bored it's from not finding anything to do.
I haven't been bored for right around 30 years.
I get creative moments when I come up with a cute little riff and see where it goes.

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