but would be disappointed when they get there.
You see, the screen is
Edited by - OM45GE on 07/26/2020 12:12:58
an inanimate object.
To further the point
the staff turned on the house lights and started playing Muzak over the sound system.
Then they shut off the
air conditioning so everyone would leave.
You've never seen so many...
cranky people in one place.
tore into each other over meaningless squabbles, much to the amusement of theater staff.
Ten were carried out on stretchers
and thankfully none in body bags.
However, the manager...
was able to collect full price admission from each of them.
He said it was
Edited by - OM45GE on 07/27/2020 10:07:33
against his religion to give refunds.
He goes to the church of
Our Lady Of Parsimony.
Their collection plates are
really just large funnels.
The money goes straight...
to Grim Jim’s Bar & Grill to pay for his long-running tab.
It’s not easy
being an itinerant banjo player.
First of all, you
have to know the meaning of itinerant.
Self-knowledge is key
Unless you discover
you ain’t what you thought you was, there ain’t no tellin’ what’ll become of your sorry carcass.
Grandpa was a backwoods fillosofer
who liked to debate the fundamental differences between Immanuel Kant and Friedrich Nietzsche.
He tended to agree with the latter, but
he was never able to get anyone to agree with him.
Perhaps he should...
have told his opponents “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”
He often butchered his hogs
with 'You are My Sunshine'.
They saw right through it
but arguing with him was futile as he didn’t speak swinese.
An interpreter was
summoned from Fred Ziffel’s place, but Arnold was flummoxed by their porcine dialect.
When the Ag Rep Hank Kimball showed up
Edited by - chuckv97 on 07/30/2020 12:37:29
he wasn't of much help to them either, and would forget what they told him halfway through the interpretation.
So, yet another potential source of help was summoned in the form of
Edited by - xmark on 07/30/2020 18:48:49
the crowd at Sam Druckers store.
At their yearly meeting they discussed the finer points of
salty peanuts and whether they were better with RC Cola or Mountain Dew.
The answer of course is...
'Old Home Place 2020/Sep/21' 51 min
'Gold Tone BG-150f' 3 hrs
'ODE Style C' 8 hrs
'Florentine tenor' 10 hrs