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learning to persevere

Wednesday, May 7, 2008 @10:53:27 AM

So I finally made an apointment to see a neurologist yesterday.  Good news and bad news, I guess.  The good news is that he doesn't think there's anything majorly wrong with me.  The bad news is that he didn't really seem to think there was anything he could do about the tremors.

I don't know.  I guess on the one hand it's nice to know he doesn't think I have some sort of weird neurologic disease or a brain tumor.  On the other hand it's very depressing to think I just have to deal with this for the rest of my life.  I've given up knitting.  I can't draw anymore.  I haven't picked up my banjo in months because I know it'll frustrate me.  I'm making mistakes at work when I click on the wrong button because my finger spasms.  Sometimes the shaking is bad enough that I just give up and go home rather than fight through it.

I'm not really sure that I want to "just deal with it."

I guess I think back to when I lost my hearing in my left ear and how hard it was to adjust initially.  The tinnitus was so distracting that I couldn't imagine living that way.  But I learned to deal with it.  Maybe I'll learn to deal with this, too.  Just right now it's very depressing to look forward and think this is the way I will have to be.

13 comments

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