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 ARCHIVED TOPIC: Don't use you girlfriend's urine for a drug test .......


Please note this is an archived topic, so it is locked and unable to be replied to. You may, however, start a new topic and refer to this topic with a link: http://www.banjohangout.org/archive/355961

BanjoLink - Posted - 08/05/2019:  15:21:24


or you may find out that you are pregnant.

I don't have the link handy, but a football player at Ohio University (not The Ohio State University) used his girlfriends urine for a drug test and discovered that he was pregnant. He was immediately suspended for 2 years by the NCAA. I think the story also mentioned that his girlfriend did not know. That was not a good day for that young man! If they had found drugs in his system, which I think very likely since he used his GF's urine, he would have gotten a one-year suspension, at least for performance enhancing drugs ..... I think less for pot.

5B-Ranch - Posted - 08/05/2019:  15:53:25


what a tangled web we weave.

yeoldbanjoguy - Posted - 08/05/2019:  15:56:26


I hope he picks a normal name for the baby

mike gregory - Posted - 08/05/2019:  16:03:47


quote:

Originally posted by yeoldbanjoguy

I hope he picks a normal name for the baby








I think "WeeWee Surprise" is a BEAUTIFUL name for a baby.

Astrobanjo - Posted - 08/05/2019:  16:04:13


That footballer should be using pharmaceuticals and addictive opioids to relieve his pain, not a non-addictive plant. Just kidding.

mander - Posted - 08/05/2019:  16:20:18


quote:

Originally posted by 5B-Ranch

what a tangled web we weave.






When first we practice to conceive. ;-)

Brian T - Posted - 08/05/2019:  16:44:47


Well! Congratulations! At least the kid knows he isn't shooting blanks.

figmo59 - Posted - 08/05/2019:  16:49:14


Or......

Mebee She has some...Splainin ta do.... :0/

Ah..Really bad day........ ;0)

Owen - Posted - 08/05/2019:  17:47:31


quote:

Originally posted by figmo59

Or......



Mebee She has some...Splainin ta do.... :0/  <snip>

 






..dude complains to his doc a short year after having a vasectomy:  "I thought you said this procedure would prevent any more babies...  so far it just changed the color."

Mooooo - Posted - 08/05/2019:  18:00:58


So, if we shouldn't use our girlfriend's pee for a drug test, what should we use it for?

OM45GE - Posted - 08/05/2019:  19:38:41


I used to run trucking companies. When we first had to implement drug testing a driver from another company was at the same clinic we used to collect the samples. The nurse thought he was acting nervous so she stayed outside the collection room. After a few minutes she heard a scream and opened the door. The guy had duct taped a baggie of clean urine to the back of his man berries. When he pulled the tape off his skin came with it. He needed surgery. Dude had the nerve to apply for worker’s compensation.

BanjoLink - Posted - 08/05/2019:  21:16:19


quote:

Originally posted by Mooooo

So, if we shouldn't use our girlfriend's pee for a drug test, what should we use it for?






During the War Between the States I think the Confederates used in in the production of gunpowder.  I know my female dogs urine kills my Fescue grass!

Mooooo - Posted - 08/05/2019:  21:40:22


quote:

Originally posted by BanjoLink

quote:

Originally posted by Mooooo

So, if we shouldn't use our girlfriend's pee for a drug test, what should we use it for?






During the War Between the States I think the Confederates used in in the production of gunpowder.  I know my female dogs urine kills my Fescue grass!






I guess I will see if my girlfriend is interested in making any gunpowder.

mike gregory - Posted - 08/06/2019:  06:30:38


quote:

Originally posted by Mooooo

So, if we shouldn't use our girlfriend's pee for a drug test, what should we use it for?








The possibilities are staggering.



Write HER name in the snow



Extinguish candles on a birthday cake when you don't want to share it with the  guests.



 

mike gregory - Posted - 08/06/2019:  06:34:36




I think "Yurrin Tess" is a BEAUTIFUL name for a baby.

flyingsquirrelinlay - Posted - 08/06/2019:  07:01:19


Hi Mike, I don't have a nomination for the formal name, but "sweet pee" is a lovely nickname.

BanjoLink - Posted - 08/06/2019:  08:07:09


Here 'tis!



timeline.com/civil-war-gunpowd...8d21327f0

mike gregory - Posted - 08/06/2019:  18:29:19


AHA!
Finally, an explanation of why a gal heading for the restroom says she's going to take a powder!

OM45GE - Posted - 08/07/2019:  03:11:36


“John Haralson saw a golden opportunity.“. LOL

Paul R - Posted - 08/07/2019:  21:53:29


Here's a link.

huffpost.com/entry/basketball-...816c89f3c

BanjoLink - Posted - 08/08/2019:  05:06:45


quote:

Originally posted by Paul R

Here's a link.

huffpost.com/entry/basketball-...816c89f3c






Thanks for the links Paul ..... my mistake .... it was a basketball player  .... and suspended by FIBA (not NCAA)

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