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 ARCHIVED TOPIC: Banjo jokes?


Please note this is an archived topic, so it is locked and unable to be replied to. You may, however, start a new topic and refer to this topic with a link: http://www.banjohangout.org/archive/323402/2

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Rawhide Creek - Posted - 10/08/2016:  23:30:45


How did he get from baño to banjo? Oh, right; he was a janitor.


janolov - Posted - 10/09/2016:  11:46:15


A banjo player went running up to a cop and said, "Arrest that kid, he just changed one of my tuning pegs." Cop said, "Oh, come on, you can fix that." Banjo player says, "Maybe, but he won't tell me which one!"


janolov - Posted - 10/09/2016:  11:47:18


A beautiful maiden is talking a stroll around the castle when she hears, "Hey! Down here!" Looking around, she sees a small frog down by the moat and picks it up. "Hi-I'm really a banjo player but an evil witch has put a spell on me and turned me into a frog. If you would kiss me I can return to my normal self and we can live happily ever after..." The beautiful maiden smiles and puts the frog in her purse. "Hey! Aren't you going to kiss me?" shouts the frog. "No way-a talking frog is worth a lot more than a banjo player!" 


janolov - Posted - 10/09/2016:  11:55:01


My wife just told me to choose between HER or my BANJO.



Jeeze I'll miss her.


beavers - Posted - 10/10/2016:  07:28:38


A banjo player is driving to a gig, and stows his axe in the back seat. He's half way to the venue when he realizes the car is running on low on gas. Despite being in a sketchy neighborhood, he has to stop and refuel.



After filling the tank, he heads inside to pay. He hands the cashier a ten, when he suddenly realizes he forgot to lock the car! Fearing the worst, he dashes back to the car and throws open the rear door . . . but it was too late. There were FOUR MORE BANJOS in the back seat.



Edited by - beavers on 10/10/2016 07:29:41

Banjophobic - Posted - 10/10/2016:  07:30:57


One of my all time favorite jokes: " what the difference in a mutual fund and a banjo player? Eventually a mutual fund matures and makes money." 😜


Rawhide Creek - Posted - 10/10/2016:  10:59:08


Alongside that is one of my favorites:  



Q.  What's the difference between a banjo player and a large pizza?



A.  The large pizza can feed a family of four.


MikeSaysMoo - Posted - 10/11/2016:  22:22:21


I hope no one told this one yet...what's the difference between a dead banjo player and a dead squirrel on the side of the road? There are skid marks in front of the squirrel... )

davyNC - Posted - 10/13/2016:  12:21:09


No No... its How many FIDDLE players does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, they hold the light bulb and wait for the world to rotate around them!

pastorharry - Posted - 10/13/2016:  16:20:53


Q: What do you say to the banjo player in the 3 piece suit?
A: Will the defendant please rise.

Don Borchelt - Posted - 10/13/2016:  16:31:01


janalov wrote: "My wife just told me to choose between HER or my BANJO.  Jeeze I'll miss her."



Years ago, I had a girlfriend actually say, "If I asked you to give up the banjo, would you do it for me?"  Shortest romance I ever had.



 


whaze - Posted - 10/13/2016:  20:57:26


What do banjo players use for birth control?

Their personalities!

engineer43 - Posted - 10/14/2016:  00:03:16


What's the perfect pitch of a banjo? When it lands in the middle of the bonfire.

MikeSaysMoo - Posted - 10/14/2016:  01:13:34


Definition of Perfect Pitch:
Someone who throws an accordion into the trash and hits the banjo. :)

DrBobNeon - Posted - 10/14/2016:  12:36:30


We need to assemble these in a BHO calendar. We could have some of our banjo players and some of our favorite banjo playing locations in it. Make sure it is next year's calendar and has 12 months in it.

My entry would be the following... A horse carries a banjo into a bar, and the bartender says: "Why the long face"?

Dr. Bob
(I know, don't quit my day job. Can't, I'm retired.)

denmccar - Posted - 10/14/2016:  16:27:32


A couple of years ago my friend Jed played at a place in Northboro Mass called Tom's Gourmet Deli. He was playing in the music lounge in the basement, I went upstairs to the deli part to see what they had to offer. The display cases had the usual "gourmet" offerings. Lambs brains $2.75 per Lb. Pigs brains $3.25 per Lb. But.. There was this sign that said banjo players brains $125.99 per ounce. I asked the cashier "What is that , some kind of joke?", He said, "No, Do you know how many banjo players we have to kill just to get one ounce of brains?"

pjfolino - Posted - 10/15/2016:  14:15:35


A pauper, a bum and a banjo player enter a bar...and that was the first guy.

Jim Yates - Posted - 10/16/2016:  09:58:07


Q - What's the difference between a singer/songwriter and a puppy?



A - A puppy eventually quits whining.







Sorry...no banjo.



 


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