There was a jam session tonight that I only went to once before. I was sort of afraid of it, because they go around the circle and you can either suggest a song or pass. Last time I always passed, but since then I practiced a lot and memorized some songs, some of which I can play without mistakes, even if people are listening.

I started talking my self out of going -- I'm not good enough, I'll make mistakes, I'll get terrified, etc. But then I decided I have to go because I have to develop some courage, and besides it would be fun.

So I went and I played some solos -- with mistakes but nothing terrible. I got through it, got some nice complements and wound up feeling great.

So my advice is if you're afraid to go to a jam session just force yourself. Every time we do it, it will be easier and less frightening.

I am not scared at my usual jam session, and now I am not scared at this one either!

I played music all my life but mostly alone, so jamming the past 2 years has been wonderful for me. You really have to resist talking yourself out of going.



pcfive

Posted - 11/06/2009 :  20:02:47    

I had a very similar experience this week. Last spring, I attended Pete Wernick's Jam Camp in Gettysburg to get an introduction of how to jam. I had a lot of fun jamming in this very safe, supportive camp. However, I hadn't worked up the courage to actually go to a jam until this week. On Thursday night, I finally decided to make the trip to the music store and give it a try. Guess what? I had a blast and no one minded my mistakes. It was fun, and I'll be going back again for the next jam.

I'll second pcfive's advice -- force yourself to try jamming. You won't regret it.

Steve

Posted - 11/06/2009 :  21:41:42          

PC, that is awesome! See I think most people struggle it these stupid self talk issues. I certainly do. I have been slowly going to local jams as my time permits. Am I good? No, but that I guess is relative. There are always good pickers there. Banjo, guitar etc. I have resolved to sit back and learn and muddle through those fears. Heck, I have them in my own family get togethers. The family can sing, play etc but I am totally intimidated but I "can so hang" (from California). Self talk. I pass at jams when I need to pass and I will take a break when I feel confident. Otherwise I "pass".

Good job. Lucky we love the music huh? Otherwise we would run like Forrest! ;>)

Mr. B

Wind me up and watch me go!

Posted - 11/07/2009 :  02:08:09    

That's right, sometimes you just need to kick yourself in the pants to get past your own stuff. Wise man say, "The only things in life you'll regret are the things you didn't do". Oh yeah, people who are smarter than me have been telling me, "Never mind the target, just enjoy the path". I think that's great advice.

"Just play one, just play one."

http://www.myspace.com/imthefid

Posted - 11/07/2009 :  04:28:54    

I had avoided this jam for months, thinking I wasn't good enough yet. But yes, there will always be some who are much better than me, and others who are not as good. Fortunately the jam I went to last night is very supportive and everyone gets applause, if they're good or bad. So I don't know if they liked my playing or just wanted to encourage me.

Either way, it's fun and playing with others makes you feel more inspired. I want to do better next time.

I don't think I played very well last night, but I got through it without fear. There is even a small audience at that one, and that didn't even scare me. Everyone makes mistakes, everyone has a lot more to learn, even the experts.

I also got encouragement about my singing. I usually don't sing at jams, but I have been practicing singing and maybe I'm actually getting better because I sang a little and the guy next to me said my voice is beautiful! Well I sure have never been told that before!

So now I am inspired to practice singing as well as playing!

I am so glad I found out about jam sessions! I just have to keep my ego out of it and not let myself worry about if I'm good or not. I am better than I used to be!


pcfive

Posted - 11/07/2009 :  07:26:27      

Excellent! That's worth an A in my grading system. If you'd made no mistakes, you'd only have gotten a B- or *maybe* a B.
~Julio




"So I went and I played some solos -- with mistakes but nothing terrible. I got through it, got some nice complements and wound up feeling great."

Posted - 11/07/2009 :  08:32:04    

So for all those who have just started going to jams, congratulations.

It's been too long for me and all the other long-term players to remember so you newbie/intermediates are the only ones who can answer this question.

After attending your first few jams, did you change anything about how or what you practiced or did you modify your learning goals in any way?

Mike Moxcey
http://moxcey.net/mike/minstrel/index.html

Posted - 11/07/2009 :  12:57:28    

"After attending your first few jams, did you change anything about how or what you practiced or did you modify your learning goals in any way?"

Every time a get a criticism or suggestion I modify my goals and how I practice. When my timing was criticized I worked on that -- and I still do because as we know it's just about the most difficult and important thing. Recently I was criticized for not emphasizing the melody notes enough, so I try to think about that also.

Basically, any suggestions I get from the experts influences how I practice. And of course, observing and listening carefully to them gives me ideas or something to aim for.

Of course we also get ideas from hearing recordings and reading this forum. But there is nothing like actually playing with others live.

pcfive

Posted - 11/07/2009 :  13:13:40    

"If you'd made no mistakes, you'd only have gotten a B"

Yes, I was glad I was able to play very imperfectly and not worry too much about it. I used to think I would only play at that jam after I could play really well. But that could be one of those goals that you never reach, since we never feel we are good enough. So you might as well just dive in and hope for the best.

And everyone gets applause no matter how bad they are. So you really can't tell how you're doing, but it's just as well. It's no fun if you worry too much.

pcfive

Posted - 11/07/2009 :  13:59:10  

pcfive, that's great, we all make mistakes and you'll findout that you do better than you think. Sounds like you broke thru that barrier. Jamming is a great learning tool, and no matter how good a picker is, he is alway's learning--------------------------Been there done that

Big Bird

Posted - 11/08/2009 :  08:47:02    

Going to Jam camp and attending a jam or two has caused me to work on my developing a better ear for figuring out melodies. I need to learn songs by ear instead of relying on tab. I never would have realized this picking by myself at home.

Steve

quote:

---

Originally posted by minstrelmike

So for all those who have just started going to jams, congratulations.

It's been too long for me and all the other long-term players to remember so you newbie/intermediates are the only ones who can answer this question.

After attending your first few jams, did you change anything about how or what you practiced or did you modify your learning goals in any way?

Mike Moxcey
http://moxcey.net/mike/minstrel/index.html

---

Posted - 11/08/2009 :  21:13:20      

Congrats! Good advice.

Barry