Ok, I love Jimmy Martin, but this particular line from "Homesick" cracks me up:

Oh, I'm so homesick
All I do is roam the street
I can't sleep at night, and when I eat a bite, I can't swaller what I chew.


Other examples of lyrics that strike you as funny???

Dan

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I've got it made in the shade if the tree don't fall...

Posted - 10/13/2009 :  14:15:54            

I like Jimmy's version, but this is what Marty Stuart sang:

Lord, I'm so homesick
All I do is roam these streets
I can't sleep at nite--I can't eat a bite
'Cause I'm tortured without you

Posted - 10/13/2009 :  14:42:08        

Now everytime you come in late and we begin to fight
You tell me there are more fish in the sea
But the bait ain't what it used to be
And I got news for you
Now after this when you go out
Well I'll go steppin' too


That one line always cracks me up.

Sam Farris
www.tranjo.com -- Tranjo travel Banjo
www.electricbanjo.com - TranjoCaster electric banjo
www.silentbanjo.com - Silent Practice system for any banjo

Posted - 10/13/2009 :  14:58:18      

An added verse to Wish I was a Mole in the Ground:

I wish I was an ant in your pants.
Oh I wish I was an ant in your pants.
If I was an ant in your pants
then I'd make you get up and dance
oh I wish I was an ant in your pants...



"F# is the new G."

Posted - 10/13/2009 :  15:20:34            

Additional verse we do on "Roll in my sweet baby's arms"

My daddy prints counterfeit banknotes.
My momma makes artificial gin.
My sister says "Hello!" at a Nine-Hundred number,
and that's where the money rolls in!

(Other verses, possibly too risque for a family site, available upon request.)

Posted - 10/13/2009 :  15:25:53      

and...

My brother's a street missionary
He saves wayward girlies from sin...
He'll save you one for ten dollars,
and that's where the money rolls in!



Jim
Linwood, N.C.

Posted - 10/13/2009 :  15:28:04  

"Little Herman and brother Thurman,
Had an aversion
To washing their ears.
Grandma scrubbed them
With her lye soap
And they haven't heard a word in years!"

Steven

Posted - 10/13/2009 :  15:32:33        

"Poor Ellen Smith,
Sweet as a rose.
How was she found?
Shot through the nose."

(Not the real lyric, but the way Tom Paley would sing it from time to time.)

Posted - 10/13/2009 :  15:56:29  

I have a certain fondness for the Mountain Dew line "them that refuse it are few" - part sophisticated, part bumpkin.

Posted - 10/13/2009 :  18:23:35                

There sits a blind man, so blind he can't see. drink up and go home

Mitch Manns
Manns Guitar Academy
http://www.mannsguitaracademy.com/

Posted - 10/13/2009 :  18:59:24      

There's a well-beaten calf on that old mountainside
Where I wandered when I was a lad.




The Old Timer

"Do you know how long it takes to charm people from Maine? They're uptight white people coated with a hard exterior made from other uptight white people." Joel Stein, TIME magazine Oct. 12, 2009

Posted - 10/13/2009 :  19:06:01  

well beaten PATH ! not calf!!!!!!!!!

Posted - 10/13/2009 :  19:06:45      

Shine Hallelujah Shine

We are burdened with many afflictions
Often unsightly things we hear



The Old Timer

"Do you know how long it takes to charm people from Maine? They're uptight white people coated with a hard exterior made from other uptight white people." Joel Stein, TIME magazine Oct. 12, 2009

Posted - 10/13/2009 :  19:07:56      

Shine Hallelujah Shine

We are burdened with many afflictions
Often unsightly things we hear



The Old Timer

"Do you know how long it takes to charm people from Maine? They're uptight white people coated with a hard exterior made from other uptight white people." Joel Stein, TIME magazine Oct. 12, 2009

Posted - 10/13/2009 :  19:12:07      

Uncle Dave sang one that always makes me grin,

He Stole the Heart of My Saro Jane (in fast waltz time)

Well I had a girl I loved so well
I thought I'd go insane
But a man who played the trombone so well
Stole the heart of my Saro Jane

With his toodle-um toodle-um doo
That was what he played on his horn
Toodle-um toodle-um doo
Lord he played it from midnight til morn
Oh the beautiful music he played
I don't mind telling you
That he stole the heart of my Saro Jane
With his toodle-um toodle-um doo!

Etc.

Last verse

I can win the attention of most any girl
Wherever I may roam
But singing and playing on a banjo alone
Won't work against a trombone!

SMILE IF YOU ARE HAPPY!



The Old Timer

"Do you know how long it takes to charm people from Maine? They're uptight white people coated with a hard exterior made from other uptight white people." Joel Stein, TIME magazine Oct. 12, 2009

Posted - 10/13/2009 :  19:15:04      

The second verse of Homesick also has some tortured construction

A puh-scription from the doctor
With long and drawn out names
There ain't no drug they make, that can ever take
Away -- from me -- this pain. (?????????)



The Old Timer

"Do you know how long it takes to charm people from Maine? They're uptight white people coated with a hard exterior made from other uptight white people." Joel Stein, TIME magazine Oct. 12, 2009

Posted - 10/13/2009 :  19:30:28              

That sugar coated love sittin on a plate
I took a bit and then I looked to see what I had ate.

When your phone don't ring......it's me.

The girl ran off with somebody's elf.

Bake this hampster........take it to the captain.

Rod

Here's some music you might enjoy.

http://cdbaby.com/cd/roddurst

http://tinychat.com/banjolounge Come on in an enjoy!

Posted - 10/13/2009 :  19:44:42  

Well, it rained all night the day I left,
The weather , it was dry,
The sun so hot, I froze to death,
Susanna, don't you cry!

Steven

Posted - 10/13/2009 :  20:29:20      

Hey, Hey Hey Hey by the Stanley Brothers

As you stood there before me I wondered
If I'd ever get you off of my mind
Then the tears filled my eyes when you vanished
With your golden curls and hung down behind.

The Old Timer

I can win the attention of most any girl, wherever I may roam -- But singing and playing on a banjo alone, won't work against a trombone! Uncle Dave

Posted - 10/14/2009 :  04:23:58          

Stealing lyrics from Mike Gregory (he sings this at jams)

BIG RED "S" in the middle of my chest "I'll FLY away!!

Posted - 10/14/2009 :  05:04:14          

Uncle Dave's Moanin' Blues:

"See that man over there with the hair around his mouth
Looks like he swallowed a mule and left the tail sticking out"

Visit my website for assorted banjo construction information:
http://www.bluestemstrings.com/page...onTips1.html

Posted - 10/14/2009 :  05:06:17      

I was at a festival a while back and a guy there sang a song at one of the jams that was about his girlfriend. The title was "Dead Woman". You can imagine what the lyrics were like. I laughed so hard I almost fell out of the chair. I sure wish I could find a recording of that somewhere.

Cliff Hebert
Bridgeport, AL

Posted - 10/14/2009 :  07:14:46        

Don't forget Buck Owens on Hee Haw with:

Where, where, are you tonight?
Why did you leave me here all alone?
I searched the world over,
And thought I found true love.
You met another and
Phht! you was gone.

Lots of funny verses - here's one:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m5du...ture=related

And how about a little "Gloom, despair, and agony on me?"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dt1fBjCm49g&NR=1


Mary

"Do not pray for an easy life. Pray to be stronger. Do not pray for tasks equal to your powers. Pray for powers equal to your tasks."
- Fr. Solanus Casey

Posted - 10/14/2009 :  08:25:47      

I always thought this line in Cripple Creek was a little... ... odd:

Girls on cripple creek about half grown,
they'll jump on a boy like a dog on a bone.

Another funny line to a "floating verse" that can be used in many songs reads:

Two old maids a layin' in the sand,
the other one a wishin' the other was a man.

Acts 16:31

Posted - 10/14/2009 :  09:32:59      

How about from Roger Miller:

My uncle used to love me, but she died
A chicken ain't chicken 'til it's lickin' good fried
Keep on the sunny side
My uncle used to love me, but she died

All the verses in that song are funny.

Dan

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I've got it made in the shade if the tree don't fall...

Posted - 10/14/2009 :  13:38:21        

Pretty Little Miss (Shady Grove) by Patty Loveless

Mama says he's not my type
He really loves another
But he's gonna marry me
When I turn twelve this summer

Shady Grove, pretty little miss
Shady Grove, my darlin'
Shady Grove, pretty little miss
Goin' back to Harlan

Well, paint and powder, curled my hair
The day he came a callin'
He ran off with my older sis
And I commenced to squallin'

I live in the mountains.....
The mountainous region of Central Florida.
Sugarloaf Mountain; 312 feet above sea level.

Randy