Dear friends! Please forgive me for I did not come to HanjoHangout for a long time. I had very hard times here in Tashkent. I had no money, didn't have work , cause I didnt wanted to sing the songs I don't like even for a living. I was depressed, I hated my work and music I must to perform. People in Uzbekistan still don't unerstand banjo music, so now I can't use banjo in my work. Yes, we have different culture. But I think it's my fault, I'm still not a professional player. It's hard for me to learn how to play banjo without real contact with the teachers and other banjo players and without other bluegrass musicians. I was in deep depression. So I decided to have some rest for a summer to find more inspiration and power for making my own music. All my life was only music. I took the rest of music. I was thinking about many things that time. I didn't even play banjo and didn't sang, didn't listen to the music, because I was very tired of the things I did before. Many people were always waiting something from me and I was going wrong way, was doing not that I realy wanted to do in my life. But I'm very happy that I have my banjo! It's like a ray of light that helps me to find my own way in this life.
Before these summer holydays I was thinking about my new music album where I could use my banjo skills and sing. I was thinking about what kind of songs I need to write. I asked people in the internet what about I need to write a songs for people will like them. I asked it because I had no ideas and I had no feelings in my soul, had no thoughts what can I tell about. And one man said that I must write about my life, about my feelings and not to think about what people likes and what they waiting from me. It must be from the heart, from my heart. I know it and I always was make it from the heart.
But my heart was empty before I could take rest of music!
I tried to forget that I'm musician, that I'm singer, banjo player and all the people waiting something from me. And I became a simple girl for this summer! And I wonder how it realy helped me to understand who I am and what I want!
I want to compose new songs and make my new CD! I already started to write lyrics with melodies for my new own songs and in the first time (finally!) they will tell you about me and about my life. This CD will be not a bluegrass album, like my first CD named Forthcoming Legend, but I will play some nice banjo notes there. Maybe it will be new style, my own style. My sound producer and guitarist Alexander of caurse will help me, like all the times before.
I have last month of my summer music holidays, but I'm already started to work about my own songs.
Please forgive me for my English, I'm half Korean living in Uzbek country speaking only Russian :)))