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revellfa - Posted - 09/02/2010: 17:57:57
My wife counted my banjos today. The total was seven.
I tried to explain that four of them were given to me, but alas...
Then I thought that I would tell her about how they are my best friend and how I like to hold them on my lap and how I enjoy spending time with them. Then I scratched that idea...
For now I'm thinking that I should say, "let's go out for a nice dinner and some wine and talk about it."
Anybody got a better one?
1935tb-11 - Posted - 09/02/2010: 18:04:45
sounds like its time for a new wife!!!!!
terry m
n.c.
bikebum - Posted - 09/02/2010: 18:06:47
Wellll..... Could ask her, 'Too many? as compared to what?'.
Or calmly point out the fact that each one represents an anchor that kept you from straying.
eMike - Posted - 09/02/2010: 18:12:47
It has been my experience that banjos are cheaper than wives. And you can find a banjo with no strings attached, but you can't find a wife like that.
jfrebel - Posted - 09/02/2010: 18:15:11
Times like this, I'm glad I'm not married. I'd try to reason with her.
how many shoes does she own? dresses?? hats? how many necklaces, or ear rings? does she need them all?
having seven banjos isn't hurting anybody unless you're buying banjos with money meant for paying the bills, or hogging all the spending money so she can't get stuff she wants too.
ask her, what's the big deal? why do you have them? because you want too. what more justification is needed?
Edited by - jfrebel on 09/02/2010 18:18:00
KANINJACK - Posted - 09/02/2010: 18:16:37
Mine said the same thing, and I've only got one.
dmiller - Posted - 09/02/2010: 18:21:03
quote:
Emergency--wife says I have too many banjos
This is not good. Is there food on your table? Is the rent/ mortgage paid on time? Are bills taken care of monthly in a timely fashion & can you afford a few "luxuries"? If the answer to the above was "Yes", then you DON'T have too many banjos. 
OSCAR82AA - Posted - 09/02/2010: 18:23:16
Tell her it's better than 7 girlfriends .
Brooklynbanjoboy - Posted - 09/02/2010: 18:24:46
My approach was to wait until my wife decided she needed a new sewing machine, embroidery machine, or some fancy quilting equipment. Timing is everything.
eMike - Posted - 09/02/2010: 18:25:34
Some people think that a banjo is a necessity of life, which is not true. Actually, they are much more important than that.
justryin2play - Posted - 09/02/2010: 18:27:25
Tell her they are kinda like shoes....You need different one's for different occasions/events/activities/etc.
Edited by - justryin2play on 09/02/2010 18:29:09
thumpic2003 - Posted - 09/02/2010: 20:33:34
Durn, how many is too many, im in trouble, lol
MrNatch3L - Posted - 09/02/2010: 21:36:11
This is the classic Sign From God that it's time to start buying guitars.
twayneking - Posted - 09/02/2010: 22:07:42
Just mail me your leftovers......
Ks_5-picker - Posted - 09/02/2010: 22:21:25
I've told my wife that I need one to leave to each grandchild (9),but I see you are not old enough to have that option yet. 
I truly try to play all the banjos I have once a week if not more.Then I feel like I'm using them.
dlc - Posted - 09/02/2010: 23:12:16
Teach her how to play banjo, and she'll see the need to get even more of them.
It worked for me when I taught the wife how to play the mandolin.
Bobw - Posted - 09/03/2010: 03:59:30
quote:
Originally posted by KANINJACK
Mine said the same thing, and I've only got one.
TR Dockery - Posted - 09/03/2010: 05:59:05
Tell her they are investments toward retirement some day in lieu of stock shares. They are alot more fun to play with than stock certificates or 401K account statements and, in general, hold their value relatively well. You could also say they will make the foundation of your future music store. Also, the last 6 I bought required doubling the price to include the jewelry (her IRA ) I bribed with.
Regards,
Randy in Germantown
P.S. I had a regular 401K but, thanks to the economy, it is now a 201K and my IRA is now an IOU!
Edited by - TR Dockery on 09/03/2010 06:01:36
dflowers - Posted - 09/03/2010: 06:22:47
She is trying to tell you that she wants some attention. Have you considered writing a song about her? You could call it "Tolerent Tessie" or "Forgiving Frannie". Or maybe even "Banjo Babe o' Mine".
Ashkettle - Posted - 09/03/2010: 06:46:55
Next time she starts that path of reasoning, point behind her, shout "Look! A Monkey!" and flee the room.
Aaron Thomas - Posted - 09/03/2010: 08:16:29
tell her to count how many pairs of shoes she has.. then see who wins.. LOL
Gymbal31 - Posted - 09/03/2010: 08:40:09
"Honey, I posted about the extra banjos on BanjoHangout. You know they have a classifieds section there. So we'll see what happens."
Not lying about anything.
And I'm always amused when single men give marriage advice to married men.
steve davis - Posted - 09/03/2010: 09:45:33
That's what you get for marrying a woman that knows how to count.
I can only assume she knows how to read,too...you're in big trouble,man.
Viper - Posted - 09/03/2010: 10:15:24
I'm getting married next year. I'm going to start counting her large collection of purses just in case I need an excuse. Good luck, men. Cheers!
jfrebel - Posted - 09/03/2010: 10:26:17
quote:
And I'm always amused when single men give marriage advice to married men.
disclaimer: nothing I'm about to say is meant to offend and I truly hope it doesn't, but its how I feel and I'm always bluntly honest about how I feel. no doubt others will disagree and thats okay. ultimately you should be doing what YOU believe is the right thing to do, not what I think is the right thing to do. so hear my words, and then if you agree cool, if you don't thats cool too.that said: I meant what I said. if I can't be honest about my feelings, I'd rather not even be married. so if I ever get married (not likely) I will stand my ground if I feel she is being unfair. as long as 1. all bills and necessary expenses are being covered. 2. he's not hogging the spending money left over after bills and expenses so as to prevent her from enjoying her hobbies too. 3. he's not letting the hobby hog his time so he isn't spending time with her and the family or other important things then he is doing nothing wrong, and should thus stand his ground. if his wife truly loves him, she won't leave him for being honest about how he feels. and I would feel like I was being treated unfairly. and I'd let her know so. if she cares about his feelings, she'll come around if he talks with her in a calm and polite way, explaining how he feels, just as I hope he will listen to her, if it turns out he IS letting the hobby hog the relationship or some such. that is what I'd do. maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'm not but this is how I see things. your milage may vary.
Edited by - jfrebel on 09/03/2010 10:27:13
PharmBoy - Posted - 09/03/2010: 10:29:48
Send a few to me; I promise to take care of them ;^))
the-fish - Posted - 09/03/2010: 10:35:23
my wife pretty much just gave up on me :-)
Mike Casey - Posted - 09/03/2010: 11:00:59
Its always good to go into a deal knowing what the deal is. If you play banjo having one or even a large number of banjos is the deal. If your or fiance believes she can change your mind about banjos and picking that is what is kown as a deal killer.
oettingm - Posted - 09/03/2010: 11:49:52
I figure if you had three or four someone "gave" to you, then you really didn't buy them. So that strikes down a few right there. You are just "holding" them for now -- you didn't buy them ....right? And just read my post "missin that banjo" from last week to see how much of a struggle I had when my ONE AND ONLY banjo went to the shop for four days. It was torture. So you gotta have spares around or you'll go nuts like that guy in Missouri, you can tell her.
Brian T - Posted - 09/03/2010: 16:08:49
Yup: sharpen your pencils, boys, and audit the purses & shoes. Unlike purses, banjos tend to appreciate in value. Empty all the makeup into a sack and weigh it.
I'm fortunate: I have a partner who will one day say: "That's about the dumbest thing that I've ever seen you build." (My biggest trebuchet.)
The next day, she's likely to brag about how far it can throw and the damage that can be done.
I liked this one: " You mean we're talking about shotguns that you own that I've never seen?"
Me: "Yes, I am."
Her: "Show me."
Her (again): "Ooooh! I want to shoot that one."
My only advice: do not, under any circumstances, get dragged into the discussion.
banjodawg - Posted - 09/03/2010: 16:24:32
When we got married 28+ years ago, my new bride had 60+ sweaters and we moved to Del Rio, Texas for pilot training. Anytime she asks how many shotguns or rifles I need, I ask her how many sweaters, or shoe, or purses, or necklaces, rings, or earrings, she needs!
I have been looking for a second banjo and she has been all for me getting one... I wonder what she is planning to purchase!
If you are going to have a vice, banjos are better than most!
Deaf Lester Crawdad - Posted - 09/03/2010: 17:45:00
Sorry I'm late to the table on this one, but it's obvious that what you need is an emergency stand-in replacement wife who can leap into action whenever the question of "too many banjos" comes up.
Her job will be to place her hand gently on your arm, smile sweetly, and say, "Honey, it's your money, and if it will make you happy then I think you should buy it. We're going to be a long time in the grave!"
Of course this will instantly bring the first wife to her senses, and your problem will be solved. But if by any chance these words of wisdom fail to get the desired resut, the former emergency replacement wife will immediately succeed to office and the former primary wife will become the emergency replacement.
I want to thank Dave Barry for his "emergency replacement dog" concept that triggered this idea, and would suggest that when choosing an emergency replacement wife you consider her skills as a backup guitarist and singer along with all the classic ones.
No, don't thank me. I do this for all of us. 
~Pete
Kenneth Logsdon - Posted - 09/03/2010: 18:21:17
Hmmpph? I thought I told you guys how to handle this several years ago (Did but some missed it)....SSOO
First you buy every fleamarket, yardsale, junk "CASE" that you can lay your hands on dirt cheap.. and you set them together around the wall, piled up in the corner, floor and so forth.. When she dusts them, she doesn't bother to count them and soon starts complaining (big key here)"I used to dust them cases in five minutes now it takes me 30". Then you tell her that you get them at a great bargain only five or ten dollars apiece and they really are worth 80.00 or a hundred to the right buyer and you are gonna make a fortune!! Shes impressed, but just to check you need to bring in a couple more..
Thennn, if you don't get any further complaints, YOU ARE READY TO START BUYING BANJOS ... she'll never notice!!
Edited by - Kenneth Logsdon on 09/03/2010 18:24:04
From Greylock to Bean Blossom - Posted - 09/03/2010: 18:40:45
Tell her you agree but this is a bad market to sell banjos in. After that you have to just keep putting it off.
Good Luck.
Ken
PharmBoy - Posted - 09/04/2010: 07:41:19
quote:
Originally posted by Brian T
Yup: sharpen your pencils, boys, and audit the purses & shoes. Unlike purses, banjos tend to appreciate in value. Empty all the makeup into a sack and weigh it.
This might seem like a good idea, but if you've been married for awhile, you probably know better than to do this...;^))
PaulKirby - Posted - 09/04/2010: 09:06:34
I'm afraid that when it comes to counting shoes, etc, the battle is already lost. The best solution I have heard so far is to write the most beautiful song you can manage, and write it about her.
When this comes up at our house, which it almost never does, I mention that 'well, having several banjos is certainly less complicated than having several women.
End of discussion, every time.
dflowers - Posted - 09/04/2010: 09:31:36
Before we got married we agreed that I would make all the big decisions and Deb would make a the little decisions. After twenty one years there have been no big decisions to be made yet.
PCBear - Posted - 09/04/2010: 10:28:32
Ask her how many pairs of shoes she has.....the conversation will be over.
Nymphadora - Posted - 09/04/2010: 11:40:51
Sooo….. my husband said “I looked in your walk-in closet. Why do you need so many guitars?” (15+)
“I looked in your toolbox. Why do you need so many sockets…?”
“....I need different size sockets for different kinds of bolts.”
“Well, I need different kinds of guitars for different styles of music....”
He knew I had worked on cars…dragster mechanic, no less, so he knew I was joking. But instruments ARE an addiction that non musicians don’t understand. Plus, you have to hug them to play them….sometimes, we hug them and don’t bother to play them. You just run your fingers over them, and love them…. I only have seven banjos right now but I’ll get more, I promise, you don’t have to weep for me.
My husband tolerates me without much musical problems except for the recording studio….it looks like the inside of the Space Shuttle. To go off topic for a sec… being a girl, I’m not really of the football persuasion. When we met he tried to explain football to me…I didn’t get it then, and I don’t get it now. I finally told him there would be less squabbling on the field if they gave each team their own ball. I also said it would be much more exciting with a landmine. Would the announcer say " And we have a frag on the field….? But , Mario married me anyway, and is used to me, and has learned to deal with plural instruments in the house. Hugs…
fred davis - Posted - 09/04/2010: 11:53:47
To bad Guys /Gals my wife is a addict as well 7 banjos 8 mandolins 7 ukuleles 3 marimbas ect theis list goes on an on total 90 instruments no couch a small table a couple chairs do't have much room for much else invesment no just toys
5stringpicker2 - Posted - 09/04/2010: 12:06:47
When I met my future wife I showed her my Banjo and that since I had a banjo in my life before her I would always have a Banjo(s).
And If she couldn't deal with it to move on. I now own almost 30 different instruments along with 8 Banjos and I'm always looking for more. In fact I just bought 4 more on various auction sites on the net.
I'm currently looking for a Cello. Hint, Hint.
Oh yeah My future wife and I have been together 40 years now.
(I )===='---<::)
Tom Robison - Posted - 09/04/2010: 12:15:50
In all seriousness, are your seven banjos the fly in the relationship ointment or was there some other incident that caused her to take an inventory? Me suspects she didn't just wake up in the morning and dash in to count your toys. There must be something else afoot of which you either know and refuse to acknowledge or you don't know of. You need to discern and address this problem quickly and correctly.
There is a huge difference between need and want. If you are in a playing band then you probably need two or perhaps 3 banjos. If you just sit around and play by yourself, then more than one banjo starts to move to the want category. Just my thoughts.
Tom
lazyarcher - Posted - 09/04/2010: 13:00:37
I bought my wife a new BMW 325i a couple of years ago.
That kept her quiet until I can home with a Kubota diesel tractor.
Now she wants a Harley.
I want a prewar 3/75.
We are currently at a standoff......
TB-4 Guy - Posted - 09/04/2010: 19:06:38
quote:
Originally posted by revellfa
My wife counted my banjos today. The total was seven.
I tried to explain that four of them were given to me, but alas...
Then I thought that I would tell her about how they are my best friend and how I like to hold them on my lap and how I enjoy spending time with them. Then I scratched that idea...
For now I'm thinking that I should say, "let's go out for a nice dinner and some wine and talk about it."
Anybody got a better one?
You told her about them?....well there's your problem. Hey, if you want someone to store a few of them until the little lady calms down, I'll help you out. You can tell her that you sold a few of them....or something like that. LOL.
1935tb-11 - Posted - 09/05/2010: 05:25:35
WHAT IS THE PROPER PURSE/SHOE TO BANJO
RATIO FOR THE MODERN MARRIAGE THESE DAYS?
I MEAN I ONLY HAVE 1 AT THIS TIME ,, BUT I AIN'T
GONNA BE IN DEBT THE REST OF MY LIFE AND WILL
NEED THIS INFO FOR LATER REFERENCE!!!!
TERRY M
N.C.
Paul R - Posted - 09/05/2010: 06:51:41
quote:
Originally posted by dflowers
Before we got married we agreed that I would make all the big decisions and Deb would make a the little decisions. After twenty one years there have been no big decisions to be made yet.
We have the same arrangement. She makes the little decisions: bill paying, financial planning; transportation, food, clothing, shelter decisions. I make the big decisions: the environment, national politics, world peace ... ... and banjos.  Paul
RB3Deering - Posted - 09/05/2010: 16:52:58
No offense, but this is one big reason why I am not married anymore. My ex-wife is a control freak and she tried to prevent me from getting my first really good banjo in 1999. Well, a divorce and over 10 years later, I have 3 banjos! LOL
No one, no matter who they are, is going to try to control me, nor will they tell me how many banjos I can have. I am NOT a control freak, nor would I try to control people in that manner!!
TB-4 Guy - Posted - 09/05/2010: 17:03:31
quote:
Originally posted by RB3Deering
No offense, but this is one big reason why I am not married anymore. My ex-wife is a control freak and she tried to prevent me from getting my first really good banjo in 1999. Well, a divorce and over 10 years later, I have 3 banjos! LOL
No one, no matter who they are, is going to try to control me, nor will they tell me how many banjos I can have. I am NOT a control freak, nor would I try to control people in that manner!!
You should limit yourself to no more than 12 banjos. I have spoken. Page: 1 2
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