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mike gregory - Posted - 11/19/2009: 05:17:24
I put out a local announcement on a local website that I'm a banjo picker, looking to join a band.
Got a reply from a guy IN an existing band, and they have a website. Looks like my kind of people.
We did a couple of back-n-4th emails, and a phone call.
And then came the news I wanted. I'm invited to bring my banjo to their Tuesday rehearsal.
So I e-mail back: When and where?
And HE e-mails back: At the drummer's house, 6PM.
and this was MY response:
=====================================
OK, (said the guy who has no idea where trhe drummer llives) I'll just drive around Waukesha , throwing dice at every intersection.
Odd number= left turn
Even number= right turn
Doubles= straight ahead.
I'll start in the parking lot at Memorial, where I went to school about a half century ago, say 4:30 or 5 PM.
If random chance doesn't bring me right to your doorstep, by, umm, 9:30, I'll go back home and wait until somebody sends me an address with a zip code, so I can Mapquest it for next time.
Just to make sure I'm not too stupid to be allowed to use Wisconsin air, I'll see if the drummer's home address is on your website.
==========================================
Then I checked their website.
No, nobody's home address is on there.
It sort of reminds me of the story in my early grades reader, where baby Sally gets lost.
Policeman asks her where she lives.
"At our house"
Father's name?
"Daddy"
Mother's name?
"Mommy"
Either the guy is just jerking me around, or he really doesn't know how to communicate basic concepts, like space/time co-ordinates.
I imagine I'll get a real address by tonight.
Just Bill - Posted - 11/19/2009: 05:21:54
LOL!
Axeman79 - Posted - 11/19/2009: 05:52:51
You'll get one of three things: 1) an address, 2) directions, or 3) no reply because he is too embarrassed to respond or he is jerking you around.
By the way, your invited to my Aunt Paulie's Thanksgiving Dinner. It will be the best in town! See you there
Axeman
rexhunt - Posted - 11/19/2009: 05:57:29
Just go down the road that Charlie used to live on and turn right where the old Jenkins place used to be. You can't miss it.
Rex
retiredguy - Posted - 11/19/2009: 06:17:01
YUP, YOUR KIND OF PEOPLE,,,,,, lol
xplainer - Posted - 11/19/2009: 07:16:01
Maybe the guys name is Drummer?
He certainly wouldn't be inviting a banger into a band that has drums!
The thought makes me puke!
Pepper Laing - Posted - 11/19/2009: 07:20:10
I think it`s down yonder.
guitdawg - Posted - 11/19/2009: 07:31:31
quote:
Originally posted by mike gregory
Either the guy is just jerking me around, or he really doesn't know how to communicate basic concepts, like space/time co-ordinates.
As I understand it, that would mean 4 axises(3 for the spacial relation and 1 for the time line [presuming that time is indeed linear... but that's another issue] ). Do YOU have your area mapped out in such a way   Maybe the drummer is in a non-linear temporal loop, causing the problem of allocating a proper coordinate. 
f#dead - Posted - 11/19/2009: 08:10:07
Your lost but makin good time!
KingStudent - Posted - 11/19/2009: 08:15:44
Drummer friend of mine once saw an ad in a local paper: "Drummer wanted -- no idiots." My friend said "Oh, I'd better not call then!"
mike gregory - Posted - 11/19/2009: 08:33:10
According to the banjo-picking detective, Shure'Nuff Holmes, the drummer's house is
"DI-RECKLY ABOVE the center of the planet!"
Elllafitzgerald, my dear Watson!
Oh, shut UP!
OM45GE - Posted - 11/19/2009: 09:33:32
Actually Mike, the drummer's house is two miles before where that VW Microbus used to be sitting up on cinder blocks. You can't miss it. I don't know what your problem is.
pickNgrin - Posted - 11/19/2009: 09:49:19
Y'all are thinking of the wrong drummer. Mike... here's what you need to do: go about halfway down that dirt road leading to the Smith farm, and turn left at the old hickory tree that old man Smith cut down five years ago. Keep going on that road a ways, then turn about a mile before the bridge where that girl ran off the road and got killed. The drummer lives just down the road a piece from there.
-matt
Edited by - pickNgrin on 11/19/2009 09:49:42
mike gregory - Posted - 11/19/2009: 10:13:07
My FACE !
Turns out that the address AND a Mapquest link were in an e-mail, three messages back.
But, the e-mail I used to get, had all the attachments in a box up top, right under the subject line.
This new mail has them way down at the bottom, long after the message appears to end, "away from all the DECENT folks".
My fault, entrail-alee!
pickNgrin - Posted - 11/19/2009: 10:22:59
Bon Appetite, Mike...
-matt
Edited by - pickNgrin on 11/19/2009 10:24:43
mike gregory - Posted - 11/19/2009: 10:23:21
Pssst! SEE what happens, when you go whining on the HangOut right away,
before giving people a chance to explain stuff privately????
kingre - Posted - 11/19/2009: 10:30:39
Reminds me of a joke Justin Wilson used to tell of the cajun boy who went to the lumberyard and said:
kid: "my daddy said he needs 57 4x2's"
salesman: "how long does your daddy wants 'em"
kid: "i don't know, let me go ask"
so he runs home and comes back with the answer
kid: "he said he wants 'em a long time - he's going to build a house with 'em"
fynger - Posted - 11/19/2009: 12:21:52
So are ye goin ?
robbif - Posted - 11/19/2009: 12:43:38
quote:
Yah can't get they-ah from he-yah.
SandyR - Posted - 11/19/2009: 14:05:30
Caller to fire dept.: "My house is on fire—come quick!"
Fire dept.: "How do we get there?"
Caller: "You still got them big red fire trucks?"
mike gregory - Posted - 11/19/2009: 17:36:48
quote:
Originally posted by fynger
So are ye goin ?
You bet your fanny, granny! The whole point of placing the ad in the first place, was to get an audition with an existing band. And it doesn't bother me one whit, not even one halfwit, that they have a drummer, and he plays digital drums. I figure, whatever makes the customers happy, especially if it fills the tip jar, is gonna make me happy, too.
rendesvous1840 - Posted - 11/19/2009: 19:36:17
Good luck, Mike. Are ya gonna audition with a Squared Eel?
Paul
mike gregory - Posted - 11/19/2009: 19:58:35
No, but I gave him the Youtube link to it, and he offered me the audition anyway.
Mike Johnson - Posted - 11/19/2009: 21:21:54
Great ideas in this thread for future IBMA seminars.
Cornflake - Posted - 11/19/2009: 22:55:55
Mike--My wife grew up in Waukesha but doesn't remember a Memorial School. Are you sure you went to school there? OTOH she says she lived in a bell jar till she reached college and doesn't remember much of anything about her childhood in the suburbs.
mike gregory - Posted - 11/20/2009: 03:25:23
The building hasn't moved.
Did the Mrs. ever go along East College Ave?
fynger - Posted - 11/20/2009: 03:30:18
Go Mike Go !!....nice one....good luck mate....keep us informed.
banjoy - Posted - 11/20/2009: 04:51:42
quote:
Originally posted by mike gregory
Pssst! SEE what happens, when you go whining on the HangOut right away,
before giving people a chance to explain stuff privately????
But hey, at least you're carrying on the BHO internet tradition of whine in public first, ask private questions later! I'm just surprised that after realizing you already had the directions, why you didn't whine about that too and bash others for their suggestions. That seems to be an emerging ritual, you'd just be adding to the collective sense of righteous indignation. How's that old saying go... "I think, therefore I'm right" ... or something like that? Just kidding. <<--Added because some folks think I'm serious. Naaah, never. --Frank
Edited by - banjoy on 11/20/2009 04:58:21
mike gregory - Posted - 11/20/2009: 05:49:18
Now let's all grab them banjos,
meet halfway between Memorial and the drummer's house,
and SING!!
====================================
I'm feeling good in-dig-nations!
Self-right-cheeeous in-clin-ations!
=========================
banjoy - Posted - 11/20/2009: 10:05:54
quote:
Originally posted by mike gregory
Now let's all grab them banjos,
meet halfway between Memorial and the drummer's house,
and SING!!
I'm feeling good in-dig-nations!
Self-right-cheeeous in-clin-ations!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... Do you have the tab for that? --F
KE - Posted - 11/20/2009: 10:26:01
Shouldn't the phrase 'drummer's house' set off warning bells?
mike gregory - Posted - 11/20/2009: 12:59:31
quote:
Originally posted by banjoy
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...
Do you have the tab for that?
--F
sandyhookflash - Posted - 11/20/2009: 13:09:58
Mike:
Let us know how it went if you make it back. Remember: wherever you go, there you are.
JL
mike gregory - Posted - 11/20/2009: 13:11:38
That'll be Wednesday.
Feo - Posted - 11/20/2009: 13:45:38
Well, since the " drummer's house " comment didn't work to scare you off .....
I think he'll tell you to drive to the accordian player's house next ! LOL
mike gregory - Posted - 11/20/2009: 15:03:41
At one point, Bill Monroe had a drummer, and Bill Monroe had an accordion player.
Don't let's get all narrow-minded as to what is and what ain't "real" musical instruments.
(Those of you who have been in any of Bill's onstage lineups, and have discussed this matter with him, may render your reports. Everybody else....Hush, hush, sweet Charolette!)
I never said, and more importantly, they never said , that it's suipposed to be a hardastical Bluegrass band.
PBGuardsman - Posted - 11/20/2009: 21:15:19
Haha Waukesha is the bomb
Cornflake - Posted - 11/21/2009: 08:11:35
Waukesha--home of Les Paul!
banjoy - Posted - 11/25/2009: 15:33:03
So Mike, I have to ask...
Wasn't tonight your meet up with these folks, the drummer and all? How did it go? Good, I hope...
Are you a rock-and-roller now? Rock On, dude
--Frank
mike gregory - Posted - 11/25/2009: 15:36:38
I think it went well. Nobody said I am IN,
but nobody said "Thank you for coming , and thank you even more for LEAVING  !!!" either.
I figure they might want to think it over for a day or several, and do a vote.
I will let you know.
mike gregory - Posted - 11/26/2009: 14:46:50
Mesage begins:
===============================
Hi Mike:
First of all we want to thank you for taking the time to stop by and picking a few tunes with us.
While we think you would be great in the right group, we feel your not exactly what we are looking for.
Thanks again and have a great thanksgiving.
Scott
=================================================
Mesage ends
Disappointing, but not devastating.
Cornflake - Posted - 11/26/2009: 19:10:13
Michael, I'm sorry. What kind of band exactly was this? You didn't happen to drop any corny puns on them, did you?
mike gregory - Posted - 11/26/2009: 20:09:59
Scott plays guitar, dobro, and mandolin. Then there's another guitarist (also good on mandolin), a standup bass guy, and the fellow with the Yamaha electronic drum kit.
Drummer's name is Pugh, and he had a few guitars on the wall, handmade by him. Absolutely marvelous workmanship.
Here's their site.
PLEASE don't send them any complaints about not signing me up.
http://www.backtowoodproject.com/
twayneking - Posted - 11/26/2009: 22:05:13
Like Robert Earl Keen's first band - they is takin' bluegrass where it's never gone before.
You probably don't want to go with 'em.....
In my case, I wouldn't want to be in a band that would have me for a banjo player.
Your problem, Mike, is that you're one of a kind...
goldtopia - Posted - 11/26/2009: 23:57:11
If you lived in England Mike, we would take you on and would not have to play in the car park (parking lot). you would probably end up with your own TV show. A bit like a Rolf Harris but of the banjo. If you don't know who Rolf Harris is he is an Australian cartoonist/artist with a chatty, likeable character. Banjos are not as popular as in America and those square eel banjos would likely start a new craze.
Bill.O
www.bluegrassminstrels.co.uk
fynger - Posted - 11/27/2009: 02:35:40
Also being in the UK.....( if you cast your mind back thru TV history ) Mike would make a great 'Jack Hargreaves '....little short programmes showing what he got up to in his shed and the marvelous creations that he turns out.
mike gregory - Posted - 11/27/2009: 04:52:10
As long as I can show up at various jams, I can satisfy my need for public pickery.
Plus, I do get hired to do shows as a soloist.
(Which brings up a spelling question: If I show up and rub the audience members with mud, would I be performing as a soilist?)
And a quick look at the math: As a soloist, I customarily charge $85 for a show that runs about an hour.
And for a longer event, such as strolling in full regalia, around an Art & Crapft Fair, I charge $185 for 3 hours.
As a member of a 5-piece band, I would be working for 3 hours, and I don't know of any place that would pay a relatively unknown band $925 for a 3-hour gig.
But, if I was expecting to get $185 as my share, that's the number we'd have to demand.
Well, back to cobbling banjos, chasing after wimmen, and posting inanities, anities, and vanities on the BHO.
BryanWB - Posted - 11/27/2009: 08:55:21
Can't find the drummer's house Mike? You hard of hearing? LOL - Take care - Bryan.
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