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Nancy - Posted - 11/17/2009: 07:41:14
I thought about that. How in the world can one be positive about things, people, and situations when those they care about are so danged negative? They carry on with woes and complain about everything. They are sad and full of sorrow in the best of situations. They hate the holidays, and complain bitterly about any part of it. They are in good health, but complain there, too. They have plenty to eat, nice homes, drive nice vehicles, but are still bitter and complaining. They find fault with all things around them, and most of the people that they know. They have no joy, and want no joy. They have no happiness, and are immune to the thought of happiness. They rarely do anything to reach out and help others less fortunate, but complain that those people are in bad shape, and this brings on another bout of sorrow for them.
Heck. What can one do? What can one say? These sorrow mongers pull you down with their attitudes. They darken the very Spirit of anyone they can. It's their calling on this earth, one can think. Brag? Oh heck yes. They do that too. Makes them feel bigger than others. Guess I dislike that most of all.
It's true. You can't change anyone but yourself. I believe that I will stay positive in spite of their woes and complaints. Maybe just see less and hear less from them is the answer and find people that enjoy life and smile and are grateful for what they have.
Nancy
We Create Our Tomorrows by what we dream today.
BConk - Posted - 11/17/2009: 07:45:41
Dang - Nancy.. it sounds like you've met my inlaws.

"Defender of the Sacred Cod" Capio pisces, ergo sum
Edited by - BConk on 11/17/2009 07:49:48
Ronnie - Posted - 11/17/2009: 07:46:24
As long as I have food, a warm place to sleep, a musical instrument to play and am able to take are of my daughter's needs I am happy. Don't have much,but am thankful for what I have.
www.bobbythompsonbanjo.com
dat - Posted - 11/17/2009: 07:52:34
PRAY
noli illegitimi carborundum
everybody needs at least one gun for every year old that they are, having a few extras don't hurt
Nosferatu - Posted - 11/17/2009: 07:57:39
Being positive isn't always the right emotion, if you're always positive, the men in white coats come and get you, that's the same with always being negative. For good health, you need a good balance between the two.
The best way to do that is to except the truth and know your emotions won't change what has happened and there's somethings out there you can't do a darn thing about.
Thank you, "Count" Hugh
"I bent over him, and tried to find any sign of life, but in vain." -- Jonathan Harker, Dracula
Edited by - Nosferatu on 11/17/2009 08:04:26
country frank - Posted - 11/17/2009: 07:59:05
Greetings from old London Nancy, Negative people are best avoided where possible, no doubt.
If i am getting to negative thinking these days i just look at my darling daughters face and get lifted to the clouds.
Proud Union Man
Regards from London.
www.myspace.com/countrygrit
Edited by - country frank on 11/17/2009 08:00:06
Ronnie - Posted - 11/17/2009: 07:59:56
I think we all need to endeavor to perservere through some bad times. It makes one appreciate the good times.
www.bobbythompsonbanjo.com
gottasmilealot - Posted - 11/17/2009: 07:59:59
Let miserable people be miserable alone and surround yourself with positive influences and people. Don't watch the evening news.
Keith
Nancy - Posted - 11/17/2009: 08:01:44
[quote]Originally posted by Nosferatu
Being positive isn't always the right emotion, if you're always positive, the men in white coats come and get you, that same with always being negative. For good health, you need a good balance between the two.
Thank you, "Count" Hugh
Maybe. I like white. 
Nancy
We Create Our Tomorrows by what we dream today.
Gary Blanchard - Posted - 11/17/2009: 08:04:12
I recognize that the negative exists, but I also recognize that it is far outweighed by the positive. Sadly, it is the negative that gets constantly reported and is force-fed to us. I keep informed but avoid all television news, and I recognize that the positive is overlooked because it is so ordinary and the negative is highlighted because it is so abnormal.
I am not a person of conventional faith, but I have faith in a system that acknowledges the basic goodness of man and the universe and I honor that goodness above all else. 
Gary Blanchard "an outlier among outliers" http://www.gbandf.com
lazyarcher - Posted - 11/17/2009: 08:06:49
Nancy--my wife is, unfortunately, one of the "half full glasses"despite having a life that many only dream of. She is constantly looking for someone to "blame" about things in her own life that she dosn't like or that dont make her happy...and of course, these things arnt external, but come from within herself. The correct term is projection.
I used to have some of these traits until I was forced to confront my own mental health issues. After 2 years of psychotherapy and some modern pharmacology, I now focus on living in the moment, and enjoying every one of them. I believe a lot of the negative unhappy unfulfilled people around us live in the past and in the future, but cannot see the present if it hit them in the face. Its a mindset. I smell the coffee and enjoy the sunrise. I plan for tomorrow, but live for today. Happiness comes from within--no one can make me happy or unhappy--I'm responsable for that and I choose to be happy and positive. My glass is always overflowing!!
Dave Jack
Edited by - lazyarcher on 11/17/2009 08:09:05
Nosferatu - Posted - 11/17/2009: 08:14:37
Nancy:
On Vet's day I had a friend kill himself, he was a Nam Vet, I'm not in a positive frame of mind which is proper. If I were, I'd know there was something wrong with me...As I said, being positive isn't always the right emotion.
But brooding over it isn't a good thing as there's nothing I can do to change what happened.
Thank you, "Count" Hugh
"I bent over him, and tried to find any sign of life, but in vain." -- Jonathan Harker, Dracula
Nancy - Posted - 11/17/2009: 08:15:24
[quote]Originally posted by lazyarcher
Nancy--my wife is, unfortunately, one of the "half full glasses"despite having a life that many only dream of. She is constantly looking for someone to "blame" about things in her own life that she dosn't like or that dont make her happy...and of course, these things arnt external, but come from within herself. The correct term is projection.
I used to have some of these traits until I was forced to confront my own mental health issues. After 2 years of psychotherapy and some modern pharmacology, I now focus on living in the moment, and enjoying every one of them. I believe a lot of the negative unhappy unfulfilled people around us live in the past and in the future, but cannot see the present if it hit them in the face. Its a mindset. I smell the coffee and enjoy the sunrise. I plan for tomorrow, but live for today. Happiness comes from within--no one can make me happy or unhappy--I'm responsable for that and I choose to be happy and positive. My glass is always overflowing!!
Dave Jack
You made my day!!!! I love that post. I just want to say thank you for that post. I will save and reread it. I certainly appreciate you sharing that with all of us. You see, I live in the present. It took a long time to come to that, but the past is gone, and future looks dim and far away. Now is all I have. Right now all the time.
Nancy
We Create Our Tomorrows by what we dream today.
Nancy - Posted - 11/17/2009: 08:18:22
[quote]Originally posted by Nosferatu
Nancy:
On Vet's day I had a friend kill himself, he was a Nam Vet, I'm not in a positive frame of mind which is proper. If I were, I'd know there was something wrong with me...As I said, being positive isn't always the right emotion.
But brooding over it isn't a good thing as there's nothing I can do to change what happened.
Thank you, "Count" Hugh
You are correct. I am sorry about your friend. The Valley of the Shadow of Death is a tough walk. Grieve, and give it time to heal some, then pick yourself up, and start over. Little can we do about what others do or did.
Nancy
We Create Our Tomorrows by what we dream today.
Louisiana Rose - Posted - 11/17/2009: 08:21:47
quote: Originally posted by Nosferatu
Nancy:
On Vet's day I had a friend kill himself, he was a Nam Vet, I'm not in a positive frame of mind which is proper. If I were, I'd know there was something wrong with me...As I said, being positive isn't always the right emotion.
But brooding over it isn't a good thing as there's nothing I can do to change what happened.
Thank you, "Count" Hugh
"I bent over him, and tried to find any sign of life, but in vain." -- Jonathan Harker, Dracula
I am so sorry for your loss Hugh, especially in such terrible circumstances, may God be merciful on him and allow him into Heaven If you are gonna be out of date, do it right
BConk - Posted - 11/17/2009: 08:27:30
actually my first answer also serves as the answer to what I do to stay positive - I look for the humor in every situation, very often it's there - though I might not share it lest more people think I'm a psychopath than do now.

"Defender of the Sacred Cod" Capio pisces, ergo sum
Nancy - Posted - 11/17/2009: 08:40:16
[quote]Originally posted by BConk
actually my first answer also serves as the answer to what I do to stay positive - I look for the humor in every situation, very often it's there - though I might not share it lest more people think I'm a psychopath than do now.
I love a man (or woman) with humor. It saves the day sometimes better than anything else. So many lack basic humor. They miss out.
We have about a 50 mph cold wind. It's doing bad things to the defendless trash can, yard stuff, and my snow shovel. I raced out (in my morning sweats, hair flying), to save some things from being in the next county. I chased a big yard goose across the front yard, the snow shovel, the wooden table filled and spilled it's stuff, and what have you. Gee, that is a cold save. Got back in, and the noise started again. Stuff going everywhere but where it's supposed to stay. I am too cold to chase again right now. Then the snow shovel flew across the patio, setting the dogs to guard by barking. Not to worry, they bark at stomping cats a block away and unicorns, and now a wayward snow shovel. Keeps them happy.
I hope that I can find most of the stuff later. NOT now. I'll try putting on a coat and shoes (have on houseshoes) later.
Nancy
We Create Our Tomorrows by what we dream today.
Mopick - Posted - 11/17/2009: 08:52:00
Keep On The Sunny Side
There's a dark and a troubled side of life There's a bright and a sunny side too Though we meet with the darkness and strife The sunny side we also may view
Keep on the sunny side always on the sunny side Keep on the sunny side of life It will help us every day it will brighten all our way If we keep on the sunny side of life
Oh the storm and its fury broke today Crushing hopes that we cherish so dear The clouds and storm will in time pass away The sun again will shine bright and clear
Let us greet with a song of hope each day Though the moment be cloudy or fair Let us trust in our Savior always To keep us every one in His care
Thanks Mother Maybelle.
I live in the mountains..... The mountainous region of Central Florida. Sugarloaf Mountain; 312 feet above sea level. http://www.banjohangout.org/myhango...albumid=3256
Randy
Louisiana Rose - Posted - 11/17/2009: 09:03:35
What a lovely poem
If you are gonna be out of date, do it right
MTBanjo - Posted - 11/17/2009: 09:09:00
I tend to slowly push those sorts of people out of my life... I know the type, and I can hear it in myself when I start sounding that way. Some people are just negative. Others have tendencies. Actually we all have tendencies.
I wouldn't suggest to anyone that they always "look on the bright side". I pretty much always look on both sides. What I choose to focus on, and say out loud, is up to me.
Zach
pandjlocke - Posted - 11/17/2009: 09:17:01
Dat beat me to it. I pray for myself as well as for those in such need. I remember all the blessings that have been bestowed upon me and all the work He still has for me to do. I mean, I got a BBQ trailer to build, man! (See my blog on my Homepage) I don't have time for sadness and sorrow. Much work to be done, many hungry people to be fed, many naked people to be clothed, widows and orphans to be cared for. What have I got to be sad about?
 Beware of the urgent crowding out the important - C.E. Hummel
Paddy
Edited by - pandjlocke on 11/17/2009 09:21:05
Nancy - Posted - 11/17/2009: 09:35:37
[quote]Originally posted by MTBanjo
I tend to slowly push those sorts of people out of my life... I know the type, and I can hear it in myself when I start sounding that way. Some people are just negative. Others have tendencies. Actually we all have tendencies.
I wouldn't suggest to anyone that they always "look on the bright side". I pretty much always look on both sides. What I choose to focus on, and say out loud, is up to me.
Zach
Ha. Another smart fellow here. I don't *always* see things positive, but try to focus on something else when trouble befalls me. You see the post that I made on the thread 'about the year'? My husband is an inspiration. He's really a mess physically, but has an attitude that is hard to find. He stays on the sunny side pretty much all the time. I look at all his problems, and wonder how he does it. I thought about that a long time. Hey, what is it that some folks can be so content and others get so bent out of shape emotionally? Attitude. Some folks are just plain negative, and you want to walk around them, and not hear what the recent complaint is. Others with a positive attitude, you will hear and not avoid.
Attitude is everything in many cases. Take today. We are going over to the church for lunch. We visit and talk and laugh with friends. There is an alliance here that some of us helped put together. The various stores give their day old baked good and bread to the people in the church. It's free for all to take. A volunteer goes in and picks up all the wonderful things, and they stack all of this on long tables. Whee! We choose cookies and bread to bring home. Saves a lot of dollars and trips to the store. People helping people.
Here's another attitude. Some depressed people do not shower or clean themselves, and that can be a downer for anybody that happens near them. They plain old *stink*...really bad. If one of those women comes right up behind me where I sit so they can take the free bread, and has not washed or cleaned ANY, it's a tough call to keep the food down and not vomit. Admit it. I dang near gagged. Dinner didn't taste the same with all that aroma coming from that filthy body. Now, those women have nice houses, good cars, and are okay financially, but are super negative, and won't wash or clean themselves or their house....they sing the blues and speak of how life is awful and they go on and on about all that is wrong with everybody. Now these people do not join in the luncheon. They only come to get free bread and baked goods by the bagful.
I thought about this too. Takes all kinds. I have come to the point that avoiding the negative people (and really stinky ones) seems to be a better choice than putting up with them and their attitudes. I wish that the really filthy smelly ones would wait to get free bread until after we eat, tho.
Nancy
We Create Our Tomorrows by what we dream today.
KE - Posted - 11/17/2009: 09:59:35
I try to avoid electrons.
Glenn Tate - Posted - 11/17/2009: 10:21:39
I think the operative words in the original post are "to stay positive." In this world full of negative people and events, we can't keep negative thoughts from entering our minds. However, remaining negative is a choice we make, as to whether we accept or reject it.
Certainly, replaying negative issues repeatedly in our mind serves no purpose, other than to drag us down. It also makes us an angry disagreeable person, and no one wants you around to bring them down.
My personal relationship and faith in my Lord Jesus Christ brings me back to center, when negativity creeps into my mind. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13
"The more you know, the more you know you don't know."
Glenn
BConk - Posted - 11/17/2009: 10:22:42
quote: Originally posted by KE
I try to avoid electrons.
hey...no politics! Oh...I misread - nevermind   "Defender of the Sacred Cod" Capio pisces, ergo sum
Sheldon - Posted - 11/17/2009: 10:25:40
Just because you are paranoid doesn't mean that there isn't someone out to get you . . . .
Sheldon
Nosferatu - Posted - 11/17/2009: 10:30:13
electrons...
Just like you BConk, I missread but I was thinking something else and thinking it was good advice.
Thank you, "Count" Hugh
"I bent over him, and tried to find any sign of life, but in vain." -- Jonathan Harker, Dracula
Edited by - Nosferatu on 11/17/2009 10:31:58
FisherPicker - Posted - 11/17/2009: 10:39:15
Simple, I go home to my wife, dogs and banjo, and spend all my free time with them.
Blue Skies, Tight Lines, Good Tunes...
dat - Posted - 11/17/2009: 10:53:27
G C When ever I chance to meet, some old friends on the street D G D They wonder how does a man get to feel this way G C I've always got a smiling face, anytime & any place D G And every time they ask me why I just smile & say
G D chorus.....You've got to kiss an angel good morning C G And let her know you think about her when you're gone D Kiss an angel good morning C G And love her like the devil when you get back home
G C Well people may try to guess, the secret of my happiness D G D But some of them never learn it's a simple thing G C The secret that I'm speaking of, is a woman & a man in love D G And the answer is in this song that I always sing
chorus.....
noli illegitimi carborundum
everybody needs at least one gun for every year old that they are, having a few extras don't hurt
Brian T - Posted - 11/17/2009: 14:09:17
I've got a roof over my head, some food & drink, I'm OK. Girlfriend/hunting buddy, the dogs and the cat. Some positives: make bread. There's a Zen thing in kneading the dough which I refuse to attempt to define. I've done some things before that became absolutely necessary (rope & tent pegs on the doghouse before the big winds hit.) Truck service, snow tires, etc. I think about how happy, healthy and successful my kids are. The upland bird season ended Nov.15. We've done far better but it produced some fun times as usual. Time to tidy up, clean shotguns and plan for next season. Mind you, some folks don't believe in that sort of clean, organic MEAT/food. Part of my life for as long as I can remember.
There's a world of trouble out there. I flat out refuse to dwell on any of it. Most of it I can't/won't/don't fix. No more so than years ago, we just find out more quickly. Bad news sells. I'd like to send Nancie Grace (CNN?) a nice fruit basket and a sock.
I'm learning that song: "Satisfied Mind." I can believe in that. Like Jimmy Buffett sings: "I've got boats to build."
Out on the back deck, I either own an igloo with a chimney or it's a BBQ. Must attend to that.
We do not know where we are going. Nor do most of us care. For us, it is enough that we are on our way. Le Matelot
JackJack - Posted - 11/17/2009: 14:24:48
Heavy exercise make me feel good.
That or heavy drinking. 

BvilleDon - Posted - 11/17/2009: 14:53:21
Allowing onesewlf the right to go through the stages of grief can be a positive thing, much more so than ignoring it or not dealing with it.
There have been times in my life when I was so depressed, I had to keep a list of things to remain greatful for in my shirt pocket. Now I just carry that list in my heart. There are some days when I hurt too badly to play the banjo, or type without making a lot of typos. On those days, if I can at least get out long enough to feed the birds, I feel like another living creature has it a little easier because I am still alive.
My list of things I should be greatful for every day is rather long. I also get the feeling that I may lose some of the items on the list if I forget to be greatful for them. My wife was a foster child and had to do things like stay on the farm and work, while rthe rest of the family went to church on Sunday. She has endured more thanm I will ever imagine. She is a great blessing in my life. Somehow, when things got very bad for her, she found an inner strength that is amazing. The doctors have not allowed me to work since 2003. Many spouses would have gone on to greener pastures. Even when I am working through some deep grief, I am genuinely greatful for her, our daughter, and the love in our house. All the rest is just stuff.
Don
Gold Star GF-85 - Posted - 11/17/2009: 14:56:47
I stay close to the Lord and His fellowship, and keep Him in my life at all times, it helps me deal with issues and trials that arise.
John 3:16
Big John, 1987 Gibson Earl Scruggs Standard 1986 Stelling Sunflower
Nancy - Posted - 11/17/2009: 15:07:24
I read again through some of these notes that you folks have made. It's not a surprise to me, but I want you to know what all I see.
I see written here, some very wonderful folks, with good hearts, and good thinking. I see kindness, caring, concern for others, and looking within ourselves to be our best. I see people that I like...and admire. I see strength and a kind of knowing that is good. I see some really terrific folks. You all can be proud of yourselves. You have come to know what is important in life and what to discard. You know when to move on and when to stay. Each of you is a winner in every way that really counts. Thank you so very much for posting. Thank you.
There's an old saying from an old Western that I recall....*May the Good Lord take a liking to each of you. And he will. *Yep.
Nancy
We Create Our Tomorrows by what we dream today.
barbbanjo - Posted - 11/18/2009: 05:14:53
Hey Nancy, I try not to get negative about negative people but it's hard. You run into one of them and you need to just turn around and head the other way. However, I don't find the super negative ones to be the worst because they are easy to spot and repel us right off. The ones who are about 60 percent negative can really suck you into their negativity before you know it. One day you just realize that you have been pretty unhappy lately and if you follow the thread you might find out that you have been spending too much time around someone whose negative thinking has innocuously crept into your own brain - and then you better sever the ties fast.
steve davis - Posted - 11/18/2009: 05:23:59
I find it easy to ignore people that rub me the wrong way. If I can't ignore them I leave.I'm sure not going to change them.
dingo - Posted - 11/18/2009: 06:22:37
Stay away from them, my mother has that problem, it keeps me from ever visiting onless I haven't heard from her in awhile, and then I feel obligated. It is the same thing out of her mouth no matter where she lived for the last 10 yrs.
One thing I learned early in life, want to be happy, find happy friends, want to make money, find friends that are doing well. Find out how they are doing it and follow suit. Seems to have worked so far.
Jill
What Happens in the Corn Field, Stays in the Corn Field.
Edited by - dingo on 11/18/2009 06:25:11
dawgdoc - Posted - 11/18/2009: 06:23:45
Find a reason to laugh at your own expense everyday (like yesterday when I was lecturing to 150 students and halfway through the lecture realize my zipper was open). Coincidentally, this was in today's paper:

dat - Posted - 11/18/2009: 06:25:56
laughter is a great medicine for all kinds of things
noli illegitimi carborundum
everybody needs at least one gun for every year old that they are, having a few extras don't hurt
mike gregory - Posted - 11/18/2009: 08:33:21
However, over here on Mister Mike's Planet of Fantasy, we're working on a machine which is designed to provide a temporary cure.
Oh, it's a big, elaborate, complicated looking assemblage of parts. (We don't let on that NONE of the parts are connected, and that the whole thing does not work! )
The wallower is brought in, and strapped to the machine, and a big old NEEDLE is attached to an IV drip. And then a guy in a doctor suit explains:
This machine will grant you a temporary respite from YOUR problems, by FIRST, putting you into a coma for 60 days, during which our employees will keep it clean and nourished. SECOND, this machine will transfer YOUR consciousness into the mind of another person. You will not be able to control their thoughts or actions, BUT you will experience every emotion they feel, exactly when they feel it. If they have a good time, feel joy, know love, YOU will have a good time, feel joy, know love. If they experience misery, depression, fear, terror, and pain, YOU will experience misery, depression, fear, terror, and pain. IMPORTANT words of CAUTION:
The Mind Insertion is completely random. You might get a rich person, a poor person, a respected musician, or a banjo player. You might feel what someone feels, who is an absolute dictator in some third-world country, or you might be a crack whore, beaten daily by some pimp, or a wounded prisoner-of-war, in any of the several conflicts going on in dozens of places. We have no way to control it. Think it over very carefully, before you accept the needle. Unless you are confident that anything and everything out there is better than what you have, do NOT push the button that will plunge that needle into your flesh.
OK, folks. Take a wild guess. What percentage of people would slap the button, and what percentage would think it over, and struggle mightily to get the hell OUT of that chair, and go back to whatever they already have?
KE - Posted - 11/18/2009: 08:35:55
Ooh! I might get to be a banjo player?! Tempting. Let me think this over.
MTBanjo - Posted - 11/18/2009: 09:35:14
Well, not because I think I have it worse, but I'd really have to think about pushing that button...some people could really use a push of that button. Teach them something called EMPATHY. I'd be very interested to walk around in someone's shoes, feel how they feel. Would be a very enlightening experience. Of course it could also be pretty traumatic. Tempting, but not because I think my problems are "big" problems.
Zach
mike gregory - Posted - 11/18/2009: 10:29:24
"Of course it could also be pretty traumatic."
My point, egg snackly!
In Sarte's little gem of a play, "NO EXIT", the characters are damned for eternity and confined to a small room in hell, where, due to staffing shortages, are allowed to torment each other.
At the end, they are offered a chance to leave, and go to some other rooms. They decline, since the Hell they have made for themselves is preferable to one that could be worse.
fredjohn - Posted - 11/18/2009: 11:15:08
I used to complain I had n shoes,
then I saw the man who had no feet....
I forget who said that, but its the same message as Rose. Be positive, there are many worse off than you.
Regards
Fred
pandjlocke - Posted - 11/18/2009: 11:18:02
quote: Originally posted by fredjohn
I used to complain I had n shoes,
then I saw the man who had no feet....
I forget who said that, but its the same message as Rose. Be positive, there are many worse off than you.
Regards
Fred
I don't know who said that originally, but I sure heard it from my Dad allot. Somehow it sunk in. Maybe I should have listened to more of what he had to say, huh? 
fredjohn - Posted - 11/18/2009: 11:27:43
Sure Mister Locke.
The older you get, the more you realise just how short and precious is life.
We may not be able to enjoy every minute, gotta work for a crust, and it may not be practical to treat each day as if it is your last (one day you will be right!), but I do like being here on this planet, with my family, friends, guitars, and banjos, and intend to stick around as long as I can.
I am tired after a long drive, and dont feel like smiling right now, but I may do after a cup of tea.
All the best.
Fred
brokenstrings - Posted - 11/18/2009: 14:00:49
I think of the family expression "Unkraut vergeht nicht" (roughly, you can't kill weeds). It means that you're gonna survive whatever it is.
bikebum - Posted - 11/18/2009: 14:36:58
And for the complacent individual.. Better the devil you know than the devil you don't know.
RB-1 - Posted - 11/18/2009: 14:55:29
quote: Originally posted by brokenstrings
I think of the family expression "Unkraut vergeht nicht" (roughly, you can't kill weeds). It means that you're gonna survive whatever it is.
I know that one!  : 'Onkruid vergaat niet' Page: 1  2  
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