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pandjlocke - Posted - 09/26/2009: 07:58:00
quote:
Originally posted by brokenstrings
Hasn't this thread gone on long enough?
No   Beware of the urgent crowding out the important - C.E. Hummel Paddy
Ev - Posted - 09/26/2009: 07:58:58
The sounds and even the smells of a restroom don't really bother me. What bothers me is those automatic toilets that flush before you can examine the fruits of your labor.
pstroud1 - Posted - 09/26/2009: 17:26:44
I have always been afraid someday, someone would ask this question and make me show how different I am.
I excuse myself even in my own bathroom cause Mom said If you really believe someone is with you always you should. Because it is more important at that time then at any other.
I know it sounds crazy but some things Mom said just don't go away though many have been lost along the way.
Paul
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zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
RB5 - Posted - 09/26/2009: 18:43:04
Oh my god! The topics that are covered here are quite special!
That's my story and I'm sticking with it!
Robert.
mike gregory - Posted - 09/26/2009: 18:57:18
Don't worry about it, pstroud.
First off, you don't HAVE to tell us anything you don't want to, abiut your personal beliefs or behaviors.
Second, if the person you believe to be with you has already experienced being publicly whipped, crowned with thorns, and tortured to death by the most painful methiod that Rome's professional sadists could develop, a mere toot (no matter how loud or odiforous) isn't going to bother him much, comparatively speaking.
Feel better now?
MYLO - Posted - 09/26/2009: 20:40:11
Man! If you can't even fart in a restroom. What is the world coming to?
" I want it to sound,,,, like a DANG BANJER!!"
Koala_in_pjs - Posted - 09/26/2009: 23:10:58
quote:
Originally posted by pstroud1
I have always been afraid someday, someone would ask this question and make me show how different I am.
I excuse myself even in my own bathroom cause Mom said If you really believe someone is with you always you should. Because it is more important at that time then at any other.
I know it sounds crazy but some things Mom said just don't go away though many have been lost along the way.
Paul
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zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
I think it is wonderful that you hold true to the life lessons your Mom instilled in you no matter what they be.  Don't be ashamed of it Kip _________________________________________________________________________ Pick hard, fret softly, have fun.
Nosferatu - Posted - 09/27/2009: 08:45:13
quote:
Originally posted by MYLO
Man! If you can't even fart in a restroom. What is the world coming to?
" I want it to sound,,,, like a DANG BANJER!!"
Out doors but now here comes the EPA... Thank you, "Count" Hugh "A flute without holes, is not a flute. A donut without a hole, is a danish." -- Zen philosopher Basho
wrentree - Posted - 09/27/2009: 10:39:07
Get right in the middle of a herd of cattle or horses and let fly.
Harold
Ev - Posted - 09/27/2009: 12:59:23
Are farts supposed to be lumpy?
bikebum - Posted - 09/27/2009: 14:56:26
Or nuclear with fallout?
Banjoitus - Posted - 09/27/2009: 15:46:10
I don't know if I have naturally evolved to the state of perversion that I find myself in, or if I might in some way blame the rather lengthy time I have wasted here at the BHO. What ever the case may be, I read in it's entirety not only this thread, but the entire story posted by the master of cyberspace flatulence one Mr. Mike Gregory "Joseph Pujol, the Fartiste." This proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that I will read anything posted on this site and do so with great enthusiastic zeal! I once read a story about a fictional character who went down to a horrible city that from which there was no escape, and on the portals of the city were these words: "All ye who enter in, abandon all hope." Though I read this story long ago, the words only this day came back to me, and I believe they are appropriate for any who enter this site. Mike Gregory, you are truly the master of the entirely unimportant! In some strange and perverted way, one must admire, and salute you for the master you are. Only one explanation can serve, there must surely be more than one of you!
mike gregory - Posted - 09/27/2009: 16:17:54
Where would anyone get the idea that there is more than one of me?
  
Edited by - mike gregory on 09/27/2009 16:20:10
banjobilly32 - Posted - 09/27/2009: 16:58:03
Nobody can get the tone Earl does!!
mike gregory - Posted - 09/27/2009: 17:39:53
quote:
Originally posted by banjobilly32
Nobody can get the tone Earl does!!
Ask the Bass Player (Psst!!! Hey Steve! From back here, that I couldn't tell if that was you or Earl! ) Well, EXCUUUUUSE me!!
Banjoitus - Posted - 09/27/2009: 18:36:18
A Muslem woman has made a scathing allegation, that a Dudley man contributed to the acceleration of Global Warming this morning, when he deliberately unleashed a bolt of methane gas, that shot straight through the Ozone Layer, damaging it irreparably.
Police who raced to the scene, say the man, who was about 40 years of age, and wearing a combat jacket, blue jeans and construction-type boots, escaped from the area around Dudley town center on foot, towards the bus station.
It's not known why the man was able to execute such a powerful force into the atmosphere, but the West Midlands town is noted for having some of the best Indian curry houses in the area.
The Muslem lady, Sharifa al-Makhtoum, 23, had been travelling on a bus with the suspect. When they alighted at the same stop, the suspect approached Miss al-Makhtoum and asked her to 'pull his finger'. According to her, when she did:
"There was a sound like curtains ripping. A large green dart emerged from the man's bottom, and shot into the sky. He ran away laughing. I'm very worried!"
A police spokesman said tonight that any members of the public who see the man, possibly with a hole burnt in his jeans, should call officers, and should, under no circumstances try to apprehend him themselves.
Though this is very important to the well being of the planet, it is not as far as I could ascertain copy write protected material in any way.
mike gregory - Posted - 09/27/2009: 19:04:26
 
"Geez, Wally, do we WANT to pull a finger that big??"
-B. Cleaver-
steve davis - Posted - 09/27/2009: 19:13:42
Are you pulling our leg with that story,Banjoitus?
5Wires - Posted - 09/27/2009: 19:19:19
If I do let it go and there is an embarrassed silence I will sally forth with:
"I don't remember eating that".
If waiting to use a cubicle and someone has 'let 'er go boys' in the words of Mike Cleveland, I have been known to lead a round of applause.
"Jazz is not dead...........it just smells funny" (Frank Zappa)
"We are not anti-union, we are anti-union domination" (John Howard)
Banjoitus - Posted - 09/27/2009: 19:20:30
The whole truth as far as you know.
5Wires - Posted - 09/28/2009: 05:22:21
Don't want to give the farm away all at once.
In a men's room we are all equal. As Benjamin Franklin said "The greatest king on the proudest throne is still obliged to sit on his own a*se"
"Jazz is not dead...........it just smells funny" (Frank Zappa)
"We are not anti-union, we are anti-union domination" (John Howard)
banjo_robb - Posted - 09/28/2009: 10:56:44
quote:
Originally posted by mike gregory
Which explains why Bluegrass is a perfect anagram of assBugler .
Mike, you have made my MONTH! I am laughing so hard that I am crying! I really don't see what all the excitement is about! As my Grandma Bertha used to say about bathrooms: "You don't go in there to make roses!" ************************************************************************************************************** Robbin ~~~Girls Gone Banjo~~~ ************************************************************************************************************** "Pick the banjer solid, John. You've picked one for 15 years, ain't ya?"---Jimmy Martin
Nelson - Posted - 09/28/2009: 11:53:31
My my... three pages on this topic (to date). I am impressed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A gentleman is someone who knows how to play the banjo... and doesn't
Mark Twain
wrentree - Posted - 09/28/2009: 19:40:57
You know with a little more substance this forum could be a sticky!!
Harold
Ronnie - Posted - 09/28/2009: 19:43:48
If I happened to bump into Big Jack's Harley and cause it to fall over I would probably apologize.
www.bobbythompsonbanjo.com
mike gregory - Posted - 09/29/2009: 01:13:56
quote:
Originally posted by wrentree
You know with a little more substance this forum could be a sticky!!
Harold
Ain't words FUN????????????????
OM45GE - Posted - 09/29/2009: 04:58:52
I started this thread with tongue firmly in cheek, but the event really did happen. I left the restroom laughing because the other fellow's response seemed funny to me.
To those who were offended by the post I apologize. To those who are amused, I join you in your mirth.
I would point out that no less a literary luminary than Chaucer found flatulence amusing enough to write about it many times, including one piece about how to distribute the smell evenly among several people.
"But if there were no music
Then I would not get through" - Shawn Colvin
KE - Posted - 09/29/2009: 06:26:41
quote:
Originally posted by OM45GE
...for making rude sounds in a public bathroom?
I was in the men’s room at work this morning when someone had a very satisfying sounding release of gaseous pressure in his lower intestines.  I found it amusing, but a third person in the room said “Nice” and seemed quite offended. They looked at me like I would share their disgust. I smiled and they shook their head and turned away. What do you all think?
"But if there were no music
Then I would not get through" - Shawn Colvin
Perhaps an alternative response, if indeed one is needed, would have been "Thanks for sharing." With regard to this thread, I would only add, "Bill, thanks for sharing."
mike gregory - Posted - 09/29/2009: 06:39:21
And here I was under the impression that
"But if there were no music
Then I would not get through"
was a statement made about the gap in a restroom stall door,
spoken by a particle of odorous materiel,
which was propelled by a burst of flatulence!
Thanks for sharing.
wrentree - Posted - 09/29/2009: 08:07:26
I figure that flatulence is our Higher Power's joke on the human race. Most of us get the joke!! Some do not.
I usually have a dry sense of humor.
Harold
mike gregory - Posted - 09/29/2009: 09:24:17
Perception is everything.
If you perceive it to be funny, it's funny.
If you perceive it to be disgusting, it's disgusting.
If you perceive it to be embarrassing, it's embarrassing.
(Kind of like the lyrics to a Bluegrass song where somebody is making illegal beverages. It can be funny. But disobeying the Law can be seen as digusting. Also, some people would be embarassed to admit that they know you, if you perform that sort of song.)
Bear in mind that no two persons are required to perceive anything the same way.
dat - Posted - 09/29/2009: 09:31:25
quote:
Originally posted by wrentree
I figure that flatulence is our Higher Power's joke on the human race.
I usually have a dry sense of humor.
Harold
I sure hope so noli illegitimi carborundum everybody needs at least one gun for every year old that they are, having a few extras don't hurt
KE - Posted - 09/29/2009: 12:15:47
quote:
Originally posted by wrentree
I figure that flatulence is our Higher Power's joke on the human race. Most of us get the joke!! Some do not.
I usually have a dry sense of humor.
Harold
That being the case, I think the Higher Power must be a fifth grade boy! Certainly not a mechanical engineer, otherwise that L4/5 lumbar situation would have to be considered professional malpractice. And what an idea it was to put the runny nose over the mouth! On the other hand, breasts were a pretty brilliant idea.
steve davis - Posted - 09/29/2009: 14:03:14
Did anyone else see the Johnny Carson Show the night the "Flatulist" entertained?
OM45GE - Posted - 09/30/2009: 04:23:57
quote:
Originally posted by steve davis
Did anyone else see the Johnny Carson Show the night the "Flatulist" entertained?
Do you mean Mr. Methane? http://www.youtube.com/group/Methan.../uV8boXLV0ikI think I was given that mike to use the last time I was in studio! "But if there were no music Then I would not get through" - Shawn Colvin
wrentree - Posted - 09/30/2009: 06:43:38
"Flatulist"
I thought that was a guy who had something to do with stamp collecting.
Harold
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